Post

.....and It's My Dad

I am upset right now and thought this would be the best place to share why.

My dad is 74 years old and diabetic and has been living in his car for the past 7 or so years. In the last year it's gotten REALLY bad, he stopped showering and stinks to high heaven, reeks of urine, LOOKS like a dirty old homeless man.... he gets $1800 a month social security and it should be enough to cover expenses but he's an idiot with money and always spends more than he has, so he chooses to be homeless. He is really good at playing the victim --- he can't accept responsibility for the fact that it was HIS decisions that landed him in this situation and it is HIS decisions that keep him in it.

Well, the other night, he was trying to pick up something that had fallen on the ground and ended up on the ground himself, unable to get back up, and laid there all night in the cold. It became clear to me that he's not able to make rational decisions when it comes to caring for himself, so I called Adult Protective Services. They have shelters and can help guide him in finding the right solution for him. I didn't know what else to do because he won't listen to his friends and family.

So the social worker went by the place where he parks his car to sleep, but he wasn't there, she just left her card. And this morning I got a message from my dad about he doesn't want my help, I'm ruining everything, he can't trust me, blah blah blah..... I'm so sad. I'm so sick of seeing him get worse and worse. He's in such denial about his physical limitations, he doesn't believe that he needs help. He's constantly complaining about this that and the other but he won't do anything to change his situation. Anytime someone offers a suggestion for an alternative, he immediately says it won't work.

At this point, I am ready to wash my hands of the whole thing and not talk to him anymore.... but that seems so cruel.... but trying to have a relationship with my dad just makes me really sad and frustrated and stressed out. He's talking about driving out into the desert and just parking and waiting to die.

Sigh.
cssoulsearching cssoulsearching 26-30, F Feb 17, 2011

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