A Fleeting Glimpse of Beauty

I 'saw' something beautiful today.. well, last night, actually.  It was a glimpse into something deeply beautiful, wondrous, and peaceful.  It happened while I was meditating. 

First, a little background.. I started meditating a little over a month ago, every night before bed.  Prior to starting this I had experience with connecting, in a spiritual way, to what I refer as my 'inner energy'.. an internal energy that radiates outward throughout my inner core.. my connection with the divine spirit, divine love, God, Tao, the One consciousness.. whatever you may choose to call it.  I found that in meditation I could find this connection quite naturally and easily. 

A couple of weeks ago I started having problems finding this connection in meditation.. I felt 'blocked'.. could find tiny sparks of it, but could not stay connected for any length of time.  I started wondering what was happening, thought that it was perhaps due to some emotional imbalance or something. 

Then last night I found the connection again.. clear and strong.. it embraced me, as loving as ever.  What brought it back was the 'voices' I heard from my friends yesterday, in a couple of different stories I had commented on.  One of the stories had to do with finding the "Silent Witness" within.. and I had described it, for myself, as taking a step back and finding the space in between.  I realized that my 'blockage' stemmed from this.. not stepping far enough back, not allowing enough space to form in between.

The truly amazing part of this realization was the sensation of 'hearing' all these voices.. the voices of my friends combined with my own.. many comments and words I had read that day from this friend and from that friend, and my own voice, my own comments, all contained within the mix.. the voices all swirling and meshing together, to allow this realization to form. 

And the beauty that I found was a glimpse when I felt all of our voices merge into one.. all coming together to spark this realization.. the sensation that all these voices came from the same source, were all a part of 'me'.. I found that point when 'you' and 'I' become *we*.....

It was amazing.. quite indescribable.. a glimpse into the abyss of the soul.  It was peaceful and joyful and wondrous.  It was beautiful.

Dee67 Dee67
41-45, F
34 Responses Jul 16, 2008

It's wonderful to visit this story and all the comments again. Such special people and uplifting words.

Miss you, Dee.

Thats wonderful...I am looking for such experiences...but have developed some reservation over "meditatation"

Thank you for commenting, amysangels :) It was so nice to return to this story and reread all the comments. I noticed how I view things a little differently than I did at the time I wrote the story, and also am amazed at what I saw then. Thank you for stopping by!

that was really nice..

Yes, Lost Lelia--that's it exactly. So true, Dee, when we see each other go thru it and when helping hands pull us from quicksand, the BELIEF in transformation & adaptation (the ongoing saga of healing itself) becomes more and more a part of our fr<x>amework. Our resistance to letting go falls away. <br />
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As MP says somewhere--its best to just let it go "It may rise up again in the relationship, each time is new opportunity to deal with the "issue" once again, but each time the opportunity became disaster, just toss the whole mess into the garbage bin. Not to bury what you are feeling and thinking, but to completely let go, like dust in a breeze..." <br />
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Thanks M.P. So very true. I tried it this morning by coming back here to E.P. and putting my attention elsewhere. Its working.

Oh wow.. group hug time again, lol ;)<br />
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I'm so ((grateful)) for all of you!!! It warms my heart to read your comments this morning, swanfether and Leila :)<br />
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I'm so glad you're feeling centered again this morning, SF.. You have gracefully reminded us that we all go through these moments when we lose our balance, get lost in the vortex.. great description. That vortex of thoughts and emotions that take us over and spin us around, disorient us almost completely sometimes (speaking from my own experience here). But it's comforting to know we can always find our way back.. sometimes we do it on our own, sometimes with the help of caring friends. <br />
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Indeed, thank you all for your existence.. for touching my life in so many wonderful ways.

"Nostalgic vortex" -- I hear that, sister. Sometimes I think life is like journeying across a continent by foot. We cross over mountains, wade thru rivers and swamps, walk beautiful green forest paths, face thunderstorms and hurricanes. And sometimes we fall into quicksand. What saves us, if we are lucky, are the hands and hearts of our friends who walk along with us. To have friends like that is such a blessing.

While prowling around in the labyrinth of E.P. I came upon this beautifully written ex<x>pression of inner ONENESS. Really lovely, Dee! And then I found myself in here too, cool! See its really true--if you look deeply into others you find yourself! (:><br />
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It true that the access of our inner experience seems to come and go. But I think that Owl has the idea...anyone can connect with that state of Core Essence which is the same for each & every one of us. I know my dad who never heard of 'meditation' was able to dissolve into BEINGNESS when he went fishing or was watering the lawn in long slow arches of the hose, by hand, in the late evening.<br />
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I love the description of how you were joined by all the voices of friends. We are all energy. We are mostly space. When we think about the electro-magnetic energy and the photons of light wave/particle which everything is made of--it is obvious that we penetrate each other. How could we not???<br />
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Yes, I too agree that being there makes all the difference in the world. Tonight the fact that you are all HERE has pulled me from a chasm of an old nostalgic vortex that wasn't enriching anyones energy field--most of all my own! Thank you all for existing!

Yeah.. sometimes we need to go back and look at our own words, to remind ourselves where we've been and will return to again. <br />
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And thank you, dear friends, just for 'being there'. Sometimes it does make all the difference in the world :-)

Glad, always, to be of assistance. The journey isn't easy. Sometimes we forget, fall into our illusions again. So its important to leave little trails and instructions like this around, to remind yourself how to get back. And to have friends as well, who can take you by the hand and lead you back, when needed :^)

Hi Mox! You're most welcome to hang with us anytime, of course!<br />
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MP.. you were definitely one of those beautiful voices I heard.. I recall something about mushrooms and meditating.. lol ;) Those comments were actually a key piece in my swirling thoughts, that night. LOL :-)

Great thoughts ((((Dee and friends)))))), beautiful conversation... So many beautiful voices....! :^)

What a haven this site turned out to be. I think I'll hang out here once in awhile if it's OK with all of you. <br />

Leila.. yes! Thank you for posting the links to those stories.. they definitely played into my experience. <br />
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Also Datura's story:<br />
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http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=145304<br />
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Trailguide.. ((hugs)) I found this on youtube:<br />
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=oPkytVdy5Us&feature=related<br />
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It's a Jim Carrey version (The Beatles version had poor sound quality.. and I love Jim Carrey.. anyone see "Horton Hears a Who"? Great movie based on the Dr. Seuss book).<br />
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It's an interesting story behind the song:<br />
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_the_Walrus<br />
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Lennon says of this (the opening) line:<br />
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"The first line was written on one acid trip one weekend." LOL<br />
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Now I've never done drugs, but it seems to have worked for Lennon, lol. ;)

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - The Beatles <br />
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Thank you so much for sharing your glimpse of beauty Dee :)

I know Dee has seen this already, but for any of you who haven't read swanfether's post in Making Peace's story discussion "Love As a Reflection of Our Deepest Selves" please come check it out. Her words very much connect with what Dee posted here: <br />
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http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=263985<br />
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Also, some beautiful "voices" speaking here:<br />
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Thank you all! I feel such a connection with all of you!<br />
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Leila, I'm so happy you found inspiration in my story. You are also an inspiration to me. <br />
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Ladee.. I'm so excited for you for the journey you are taking. Since coming to EP my own journey has accelerated, thanks to all the wonderful friends I have met here. Don't worry about thinking too far ahead.. just focus on each step that you take and enjoy it to the fullest. Datura is right.. you are connecting, I am feeling this from you, too.<br />
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Owl.. I'm no expert on meditation, but I felt as you did before I started a disciplined meditation.. that I naturally did this from time to time.. perhaps we all do. For myself, once I started a regular meditation I felt the benefits right away. I still have much to learn. I find dreams so interesting.. I think they are our subconscious or unconscious mind communicating a message to us. I have often had very strange dreams, too.. not sure what they were telling me, lol.. that's something I'd like to learn more about (Jungian dream analysis). Oh! And I love your description of the peaceful rainforest.. I can just hear the monkeys chattering and the birds calling in the canopy overhead and feel the humidity and warmth! I think there's a small stream over there, I can hear the trickling of water... lol ;)

ladee54, keep an open mind and you will connect.

Dee, on reading your story I think I may have started meditating without thinking about it. When I was in Tasmania I would go to sleep thinking about the good things of the day. I would wake with the same thoughts and on three mornings woke from a pleasant dream.<br />
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In the past I have never dreamt much, and when I did they were strange, not wake up in a cold sweat type of dreams, but strange outcomes. Silly things like being pushed over a cliff by a flock of sheep or the night sky filled with B52s flying south. <br />
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And datura, I think I know what you mean. This little corner is like a peaceful rainforest.

Peace to you Ladee. You absolutely are connecting to the oneness that inspired Dee's story . I felt that very same surge of connection with you all when I read it too.

You guys are all great. Lovely story Dee, really inspiring.

I feel exactly the same way, Datura. I often think of my friends here, and wish I could share you all with everyone here in my world. I am filled with gratitude for all the wonderful friends I've made here, whose 'voices' I carry with me.. EP has been a blessing for me :)

I will, Dee.<br />
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I am amazed how I, too, during the day will hear the "voices" of you and others whose comments I have read. Many times while I sit at my pond and feed the koi I think about inspiring stories and comments I've seen on EP that day. During those times you all are as real to me as anyone I have actually spoken to in person.<br />
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I am so grateful for our little corner of EP where we can all share and learn and grow.

Thank you Datura! You were one of the voices I 'heard'.. as it was your story that was one of the triggers for my experience. What a wonderful mental image you paint.. I don't recall seeing colors specifically (it was more feeling than image, but swirling and light were definitely involved), but I would surely love to see your painting when finished.. please let me know when you post it! <br />
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Isn't it grand how all our experiences, thoughts and ideas can come together to make something beautiful.. something a little different for each one of us!?

Will do, Juan!

Be sure to take a photo and post it for us please.

Juan, yes I can...and I think it's an excellent idea! A new project for datura! Thank you , friend, for the suggestion!

Datura -- can you paint that?

A "coincidence" Dee. I had just read and commented on the Silent Witness story when I noticed this story because of Juan's recent comment on my circle activity list.<br />
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Wow! When I just now read your story I had a mental picture of all the voices swirling around in a spiral robed in all the colors of the rainbow reflecting all the people who spoke...swirling faster and faster until the spiral became the brilliant white light of oneness.<br />
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You have just given me a wonderful image to use in my own meditation. Thank you!

I find that creation preaches this truth to us each day. Life is movement, change, color and love.

Absolutely, Juan. So much of life and living has revealed itself to me in the last few months.. beyond my wildest imagination. The best part is there is so much more waiting to be discovered. I've found what you said often thru my life.. when life seems ordinary and status quo, that's when something seems to happen that changes everything - 'wham', right out of the blue. This is the spice of life, I think. Expect the unexpected. The only thing constant is change.

Dee, don't you find it amazing that life is far more beautiful and complex than you may have ever expected. Recently, I've been taking note of the fact that once living starts to seem ultra-ordinary and predictable, that is when something extraordinary surprises us, and we realize that we are changing and there are wonders yet to be discovered.

Yeah, it was pretty amazing. It's experiences like these that really start to change us..

Hey Dee, that is something special. To feel the combined positive energy of those who wish you well, while connecting to your source, speaks of the oneness we are all beginning to wake up to.