Some Flower Children Weren't....................

     I was raised by the counter culture, I believe in peace and love and random acts of kindness, and spirituality as opposed to religion.  I know there are other people my age, who have been through some serious weirdness.  I knew them, a few of them.  I grew up on 4 different "communes" and in a large van traveling through the US and Mexico.  I'm not saying it was horror, I had some great times and a good education.

     I can't be eloquent about this,  psychodelic drugs can really screw a kid up.  Death and violence isn't such a great idea either.  I did learn that there was a nasty side to the sixties and early seventies.  The weird sex was not as bad as the psychodelics and bizzare punishments, or the spooky satanic crap.  (they didn't know it was satanic.)  I was beaten, but never sexually abused by my family or anyone that I knew.  The LSD during the late sixties was real, not the stricnine laden crap that's floating around today.  I heard colors and saw sounds, I covered 20 feet in one step, I walked in clouds and sat down on a literally red hot burning wood stove.  I jumped up and down on the chest of a dead guy, because my ------- said it would bring him back to life.  I saw every imaginable sex act that could be done between a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman.  No one forced me to look, it just happened around me, and for some reason the other possible combination never occured, I had a vague idea of collective conscienceness, uuuuh, before I was ten.  I guzzled a big green bottle of wine at a "barn party"  while every one stood around chanting, "super kid. super kid. superkid"  Later, they took a picture of me laying on a pile of hay with my eyes rolled back in my head and flies and puke all over me.  I did chocolate mescaline, real Tiajuana meth, (methadrine) Ouaxacan Mushrooms, LSD, the Owelsly, Leary, Sandos kind, and of course weed, (they called me "two toke tito".) 

     I hope I don't sound like I'm whining, I came through ok, I don't think I have ptsd.  They weren't evil, just irresponsible.  I just can't help but wonder if thats how I got my wires frayed. "organic brain damage due to head trauma and poly-substance abuse"  That's the other thing, I can't help but get defensive when they lay this drug abuse thing on me.  I could just hear my self saying, Ah gee, no thanks###, that might upset my brain chemistry."

     I went into the service like a good boy, and when I went back to some of these memory zones, some had already decided I was a basket case.  My moms' husband was scared of me becuase an old family friend said I would definitly be insane due to the circumstances of my upbringing.  One day I asked my sister why she didn't seem to like me, and she said, "becuase you were raised by ###### "  

     In a lot of situations I've been judged for things I had no control over, and it's caused me some grief.  I just wonder who I might have been,??   I am happy with who I am, and I've been cured of any bitterness and resentment,,(inner healing)  It took a while.  I guess my point is, the psyches of children are so tender and vulnerable, people should consider that when they interact, and 99% do!  Things have really changed in the last 40 years. Now it's the TV and video games eh?  Garbage in, garbage out.

puck61 puck61
56-60, M
6 Responses May 10, 2007

You've got to write a book. It's amazing, the things you have to say. Just incredible.

Thanks for your comment, SweetbriarPoet. I am trying to write that book. I'm having a slow go at it , though.

Wow you have some amazing stories. And, yes, you've turned out wonderfully. Have you ever thought about writing a book? I would love to hear your life sometime. (I mean, if you don't mind talking about it, of course.) People's differences really interest me, and you seem like a very interesting person.

Very interesting read. You are right, at the end there, these days its TV and video games. A whole different drug. Good job on the inner healing. It can be a hard road.

Where have you been lately??

To go through what you had to endure and to come out like you did is an accomplishment in itself. Be proud of who you are, this world is way too judgemental.