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Today’s HorrorScope

ARIES
You have a tendency to be pigheaded and premeditated in your actions. Basically, you don't give it a damn. Most people want to kick your *** but you are least bothered about it. You are the kind of pathetic person who will crack jokes at funerals.
 
TAURUS
Team player and cooperative are your most charming qualities. You gel well with everyone in your office because you are bisexual. You never wear clean clothes and save money on laundry by wearing jeans at work.
 
GEMINI
You are affected by multiple personality disorder. Your friends call you schizophrenic at your back. The number of sick leaves you take at work are more than the number of diseases that exist in this world.
 
CANCER
To err is human, to forgive is divine is your motto. People call you a dumb ***. Any Tom, Diick and Harry can come and pull your leg. I doubt if anyone will attend your funeral unless you announce free lunch before your cremation. 
 
LEO
You are the go-getter type of person, always ready to experience new thrills of life. In other words, you are a flirt. You have been kicked like a football by most of the girls but you still (shamelessly) jump from one flower to another like a butterfly.
 
VIRGO
You have a businessman-like acumen. You try to make money out of anything so much so that you are ready to sell your neighbor’s kidneys for that. You are lucky to be still alive as most of the people are hungry for your blood. You may be murdered anytime.
 
LIBRA
You appreciate whatever comes your way. In other words, you are an idiot. You think bullshit is a fertilizer. Your IQ level is lower than that of two cockroaches together.
 
SCORPIO
You are a true romantic at heart. You have a huge DVD collection of romantic movies. Most of these DVDs are pirated ones. In short, you buy cheap roadside stuff. You are planning to rent an apartment where you can stock your collection of p0rno CDs.
 
SAGITTARIUS
Books are your best friend. You read till you drop. Probably, you will become a lawyer and help criminals escape death sentences by preparing false evidences. You may be loved. But only by a dog.
 
CAPRICORN
Laziness is your virtue so much so that you sleep even in your dreams. You are good at multi-tasking. In other words, you screw up several things at once.
 
AQUARIUS
You are a foodie. You are so much obsessed with eating that you have named your male dog ‘candy’. You exercise everyday so that you can die healthier.
 
PISCES
You are a die-hard internet freak. You kiss your girl friend’s Facebook homepage everyday. Your dog has his own website. You never drink and drive, for the fear that you may bump a tree and spill your drink.
eyes04111981 eyes04111981 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 6, 2011

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lolz...... u noe i am a gemini.... and the horror scope may be meant for fun, but its right bout me.,..... m literally laughin.....so much!

Almost! As a Scorpio I do have a large collection of movies, but not pirated ones and definitely not ***** ones!