My Journey To Self Acceptance.

For so long, I’ve believed that I’m a phony. And I’ve lived in fear that somebody will accidentally find out one day. I guess that’s why I put so much pressure on myself to always be perfect; so that I don’t have those little slip ups.
I’m a very pretty girl. But I have many (perceived) flaws that I fear that if you really study me, you’ll realize I’m really more like the girl next door. I’ve already talked about my flaws in my other stories; my legs, my cellulite. But then something funny happened yesterday. I realized real women look nothing like they make us think they do. Real women are slightly curvier than is deemed acceptable, have a little extra meat here and there, have cellulite in all kinds of places (including the skinny ones), don’t have flawless skin, have a little jiggle sometimes, and I could go on for a couple more pages.
I was at a concert waiting for a friend and I had the opportunity to observe women dressed to the nines all different colours, sizes, proportions. The one thing they had in common is that they were working it. They owned their bodies and because of that I didn’t notice their flaws, I just saw women comfortable in their own skin.
And that’s when it hit me: I’ve been so worried that society is out to judge me, that I don’t fit the mold. But to see so many different women all owning their bodies made me realize that I had been victimizing myself. I had been consciously setting myself apart and telling myself I don’t belong. Somehow, I had allowed myself to believe that there is a certain standard that is acceptable and that everything else just doesn’t fit in. And as a result I was missing out on the joie de vivre these women were experiencing. (joy of life). I was constantly comparing myself to the woman on either side and either feeling like I don’t belong, or a smug vindictive happiness of the “well at least I’m better than her” variety.
Yesterday was such an eye opener for me. It’s a message that has been preached for years “real women come in all colours, shapes and sizes.” But seeing it for myself made a world of difference. So if you’re reading this and it’s a message you’ve heard but still have trouble believing, arm yourself with those words. Let them become your mantra. If you keep repeating it, you’ll start to believe it. And seek out those “real” women. Soak up their energy and their confidence and their belief in themselves. Then one day post your own story about your journey. :)
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Jan 7, 2013