My Love Is Expressed To Many

Initially, I had a hard time reconciling myself to the title of this group. My ex and I broke up in 2007, which absolutely shattered my heart.  It took a long time for me to reconcile myself to our being permanently apart, too.  I did finally make that transition, but it was so very hard.  Since then I've "fallen in love" a few times, and asked some women out.  But I haven't shared a romantic relationship in all those years.  When I look upon love that way, I wonder why things are so screwed up for me.  If time is finite, why am I not sensuously serenading at some gorgeous woman's balcony, at least until the police come and arrest me for creating a disturbance?

When I thought about it further, however, I realized that the topic of love isn't limited to romantic love, even though I suspect that's what's being implied here.  I extends to family and friends, those people who are important to me. 

In this respect I certainly have loved.  I don't see my family very much, but it would be a mistake to conclude that I don't love them all.  I cried when I heard that my grandfather passed away just after Christmas last year.  Although I hadn't seen him for a few years, I'm glad for the times we did have together over the last twenty years, memories I will cherish and carry with me forever.

My daughter, of course, is the focal point of my love right now.  Though we live apart and see one another usually just once per week, maintaining that relationship is paramount to me.  We love the time we spend together, and I want to maintain that relationship for the rest of my life.  Although I don't love her any more, I certainly don't want any harm to come to my ex-wife or her family.  I'm not so jaded that I don't care about that.

Last, but not least, I care about my friends here.  Some I don't talk to as often as others.  But if there's some regular communication, regardless of whether I've known my friend for years or just a little while, then I certainly care and am interested in how things are going for them.  I may not be on E.P every day (although lately I have been), but that doesn't mean I don't think about you and wonder how things are.  That counts as love too.  Not romantic love, but caring and affection nonetheless. 

So, yes, this category does still apply to me.  As long as I draw breath and can remember and  reason, I continue sending my love out to all these people.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
Sep 19, 2012