What Happened To Me, To Cause Me To Go Through My Second Divorce

Almost three years ago, I got married to somebody I thought was pretty amazing...but I did not pay attention when I should have. Not only was he a liar...but a raging alcoholic.
A week before the wedding, he says to me, " I have to tell you something I haven't told you, and if I don't tell you our best man refuses to be in the wedding"
Turns out, he has a daughter...when he told me, instead of being angry I was excited, I can't have children and this presented a possible opportunity for me to be a step mom...I should have paid attention to the fact he did not tell me till a week before the wedding. That he only told me to keep the best man in the wedding.
Fast foreward about 3 years...He was sick ALL the time, vomiting almost everyday...he looked like an anorexic. I could not understand what was wrong with him. On top of that, he never had a job the whole time we were married...but he was going to school (or so I thought) oh, my parents had been totally paying for school...they paid for the first semester, and wondered when the next bill would come...he told them he had financial aid...
well, my parents figured out he was not going to school (a woman they work with has a grand daughter that was in his exact class...he attended for a week...this was over a year ago)They arranged a meeting with he and I to confront the lie...he did not show up to the meeting. Instead he attempted suicide. While in the ER he came clean about his drinking...2 pints of vodka and some shots a day.
While he was in treatment I cleaned my house BIG TIME...found, over 300 vodka bottles hidden in my home.
All along, I begged and pleaded for him to always be honest with me...he was not.
I payed for him to have a month of treatment...he left before 2 weeks was over...fell off the wagon once...and has told me 2 more lies in the 2 weeks after his suicide attempt...about really stupid stuff...while supposedly sober.
I realize how unhealthy we both have been. Me with codependancy and enabling, him with lying, not working or ever helping in the home, and the alcoholism...Now as I begin to put the pieces of my life back together, I often go from hope and joy to despair...but I realize this is normal. I had turned myself off from life...go to work come home and sleep. I became so numb to survive living in the situation...learning to feel emotions again is quite a roller coaster. I do have hope though. I found a verse in the Bible, Job says that...
"You will experience things two even three times,
to learn how to get out of the pit...so that the light of the Lord can shine upon you"
this is my second divorce due to alcoholism...but I am taking steps to get out of that pit, so that the light of life will shine on me!
AndreaL AndreaL
31-35, F
1 Response May 20, 2012

I am in the same situation..how to you leave