Please Like Me Or Are You Mad At Me?

  I suppose "everything " is an exaggeration. It's like an ego trip in reverse.  If you leave, I said or did something wrong.  If you're not smiling, I said or did something wrong, Peoples' pets give me dirty looks. I'm scared to death of being misunderstood.  I even worry about my body language, I want to make sure that I posture myself in just the right way so you'll be my friend and think I'm cool.  I don't like what these hard truths say about me. I'm a walking contradiction, people generally like me, but when I think about it I feel like an insecure, self centered poser.

But- When I'm doing the entertainment thing, that goes away. When I'm singing I can look a hundred people right in the eyes, with a sparkle tooth smile. I can tell my little stories and anecdotes between tunes.

Then back to the blue collar world , working trying to sleep and worrying that no ones ever gonna show up and make the clown laugh.

puck61 puck61
51-55, M
5 Responses Apr 21, 2007

Wow. I know all those feels.

It's the anonymity of this place that gives us the freedom to be ourselves and confess these things that worry us. I'm glad I found it. Puck, you seem like a nice guy here, where you're being real, so you're probably a nice guy everywhere, yes?

I walk out into the world with all false confidence I can muster. I play a character. It is a preformance. I am even what you might call well liked.<br />
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When I am alone (which is alot) that all slips away and I am left with the real me. I wish I could let someone in, for it is lonely.<br />
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I think it is this way for many people, society seems to expect that polite behavior and like sheep most of us comply.<br />
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To many of us spend to much time worried about what people think of us and the truth be known they really may never even notice us and why should we care what they think. The common thread here is I think those of us that found ourselves at EP care more than most. That is what unites this "family" here.

There should only be ONE judge in this lifetime.... and you should not worry about humanity judging you... only THE one can judge you... everything else just isn't important.

You know that you can not please everyone, you can't make everyone happy, as long as at the end of the day you like the person your looking at in the mirror thats all you can do, treat others as you would have them treat you and thats all you can do. stop beating yourself up....