The Story Of My Life (silver Spoon)

I came from a family of politicians. the moment i was born up to this moment we have been in power. I was a brat growing up, i get what i want when i want it and how i want it. i was living the life many would call perfect. people would often come up to me and say "i wish i have your life.." what they dont know is that id be more than willing to exchange places with them for i think money problems is way easier to handle than problems of the heart.

i was 13 yrs old when i met him. he is also in politics. i fell in love with him. but i was way too young.. after a year, i started dating him, just dates.. and it went on for 3 years. i eventually found out that he got a girl pregnant and that he had to marry the girl. i was broken. i was lifeless. i cried a river.
i was 17 when this happened, i was young, rash and temerarious. I decided to stay with him and finally lose my virginity to him a month before my 18th birthday. needless to say i was also stupid. but what can i do? i wouldn't want to lose it with anybody else! i am now 25 yrs old and still with the same guy. he has 4 children now. his wife knows about me, my family knows about us. we would be in the newspaper on the blind item section.. we do not care! but the thing is... i feel empty. i feel incomplete. iv tried everything! iv tried modeling, iv tried commercials, iv tried working in an office, i went back to school, im in law school now.. still, there is something missing... i dont find sense in my life. im tired of smiling everyday to people i dont even know because i have to. im tired smiling when theres nothing that makes me smile genuinely.

a guy i can call my own?! hmm iv tried! in between my 11 years with him, iv had 2 more relationships... unfortunately, i was played and displayed as if i am a trophy. i have lost faith in true love. i have lost faith in happy endings.
nosujanit nosujanit
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

I can understand your feelings. Relationships are difficult for those with wealth and influence. I came from an influential family in business and politics. I wasnt allowed to make mistakss. I was expected to get it right the first time. I spent most of my best years looking to please them and prove I was just as capable as they were that I forgot what I wanted to be and kept sabotaging myself. My relationships were totally in response to my confused adolescence. Meeting people isnt hard when you shift focus onto loving and helping others. When I quit focusing on my own emptiness and started working to help others I met good people constantly that helped me find my way to a healthy emotional life. I'm still good friends with most of them. Do Charity work. Seriously. Go volunteer at a battered woman's shelter. Or go visit the elderly and paint nails. Give back, since you have had it so good, so you can truly see what it is you are missing. Your parents have influence, but my dear Politics are fickle. Your future children might not have it like you do. Believe me, money and dynasties can vanish overnight. Ive seen it too many times to count. If you want a love that lasts you need to go somewhere where others are learning to be unselfish and forget your parents influence for a while. It might be a hat you can wear but it's not who you are. That might sound cold but for someone like me it's a relief.

thank you so much. i will definitely give your advices a try. but as to forgetting my parents influence, i wish i could do that too, but i dont have much choice. im next in line. i dont want to let them down.. thanks again rubyaura. good luck in your endeavors.

I wish you well on your journey also. Just remember, this may be the path ahead of you, but it's your choice, ultimately, how you want to walk it. I recommend charity work because it opens doors in your heart to strengths you don't always know how to connect with. It's like strength training for your spirit. No matter where you go in life, if you have an open heart you will find love.

LOL I think I just quoted Jane Seymour. Sorry about that, it was unintentional.

I can only imagine the pain you felt when you found out he had to marry another girl. Be strong though. You can get through this. He is married now and all that is left to do is to move on. I wish you will meet that special guy who will wipe the other one into non-existence soon.

thank you. that is my ultimate wish too.