I Can't See Myself With Anyone..

Except for the boy I'm with now. Here's my story- in 5th grade I started at a new elementary school. For some reason I, as a ten year old, was deciding who in my class I saw as 'cute' and I remember seeing this boy. He had longer hair, same height as I. Dark hair with the most beautiful dark eyes. But I just thought he was perfect. Or.. Cute, I suppose. Anyways, I remember one day hearing his name and just smiling by the thought of him. As the year went by, the class had our own social networking website. We could communicate privately with each other which was a great think at that age. I messages this boy just saying things like hi and making really small conversation. I was sad to not hear back from him. Only to my surprise, 2 months late I discovered an unread message from him. How could've I not seen this?! I frantically opened the message. "Hannah I just really like you. Will you go to a movie with me?" And from there my heart melted since him and I both had our own, so-called, "significant others." Although, I never stopped liking him. All through 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I mean of course I had "boyfriends" and he had "girlfriends" but what significance can those relationships really have at that age, especially if they're long gone. So, it was on and off, but I just couldn't get over this boy!!! I had liked him for years! Anyways, we started high school. In the beginning of the year, he asked me to the homecoming dance. My moms rule was to say yes to whoever asks you first, so sadly I had a date. But I remember my friend telling me "I know who is asking you t the dance!" I called my mom right away because I did like him I just couldn't believe it! She said well we better to get you a beautiful dress! To my devastation, another boy asked me first. So I had to turn down the boy I wanted to go with. That whole year I liked him. Actually, 9th grade was the first time I ever thought of being in love with him. But who was I to know what being 'in love' meant? Well, I told my friend by the end of freshman year that I liked this boy and how long I had liked him. Two weeks later, she decided she liked him. So she went for him and they built a relationship. When they first started going out, July 10th, 2011, two days before my 15th birthday, she told me they were in an official relationship. All I remember is reading that text and I started bawling. I resented my best friend for what she did to me and secretly disliked her and even talked about her to other friends which was a wrong on my part. On October 9th of 2011 they finally broke up. I didn't think it would last. She treated him terribly behind his back. I had to personally have a talk with her about the way she flirted with other boys in front of him and I saw his sadness so for his sake I tried to get her to be more considerate and not take him so much for granted. But it ended. It was more of an, 'I'm back in the game' event in my head, but of course I didn't immediately approach him, although I may not have waited long enough. Before closing night of a musical I was in, one of my friends informed me of who this amazing boy liked. It was me! I was ecstatic and may I add, that was the best performance I had all weekend. That next Monday, November 21st, 2011 we FINALLY confessed our crushes and how long they had lasted. It was honestly the best day of my life. Two weeks later, December 5th, 2011, well, that is our anniversary (: this boy is my first legitament boyfriend, my first kiss, the boy I gave my virginity to, he's my first everything. We have been dating for about a year and two months by now. We have senior registration tomorrow, and everyone has been talking to me. They say, if you guys go to different colleges and breakup, it will be the worst heartbreak of your life. But if you stay together, you might get married. Is this what you want? Well, I've decided my answer. I want to marry this boy. I am in love with him, we would do anything for each other. He's saved me from suicide twice in the duration of our relationship and we are extremely mature. I never thought love would be so complicated yet so simple at the same time. The term is so ontological. Anyways, we plan on moving in together once I'm 18 ( he's a year older) and I can see us being together with kids, pets , a house, jobs. Until death do us part (: maybe I'm just a love struck teenager, but hey. Anything can happen, right?
Dancedancedance Dancedancedance
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 17, 2013

Young love is a dangerous game. I wish you well just be careful.

I will, thank you for the feedback! I agree.

A part of me wishes I had genuinely realized this when I said I agreed. Actually, all of me does.

Oh wow that is such a lovely story x wish you all the best with him x

Thank you! (: