Mad, I Tell You!!!

I don't know if my particular situation qualifies as madness, but I stood in a doorway a long time ago and said good bye to myself.  watchd me walk away, and when we met again, my eyes had turned grey and my skin ashen. 

i want to hide.  i never answer knocks at dors,a nd d not have a telephone.  when i am talking to someone, i spell what i say with sigh language, my hands perpetually hidden behind my back, so no one can see.  I will not cross a street if there are cars waitig for the light to turn.  i dot know if i am the voice in a head, or the head itself.  everything blurred a few years ago after a severe bout with insomnia.  I was awake for...i dont know, a week or so, and something snapped.  something went away.  something changed.

the voices may not even be real, it could all just be me, but then there are the impulses.  touch that lamp four times.  again, four times.  set your alarm clock for three am so you can stand in fromt of the bathroom mirror and watch yourself.  so no blink.  twenty two moree minutes  look.  its you.  avoid eye contact.  touch that lamp four times.  again.  four times.

so i dnt know if i am mad, crazy, or just an american-- we tend to invent all these ailments and disorders for ourselves,a nd while we fret over our mental health we get fat and unhealtyh, we smoke and we drink and we wonder:  what is wrong with me?
happyhooker happyhooker
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 13, 2007

Hun you have a bit of OCD which is NOT crazy, just a little nervous.<br />
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I don't answer my door unless I know who is coming or who it is. I don't answer my phone either if I don't know the number or if its blocked. We live in a dangerous times.<br />
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Do you know that most other countries get months off at time for vacation? Get at least an hour sometimes two for lunch, and rarely work longer than eight hours a day......most four days? *sighs* They expect our whole life and we give it and I lost the most precious things in the world giving my life to a company. Things would have been so different had just.........*sighs* We were born in the wrong country. We need to move to France or Italy and begin to learn the art of truly living.

Idk you dont sound that bad to me but im no psychiatrist but if you ask me you might have a slight case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with that whole touch the lamp four times thing you might want to find out about that and good luck!

Idk you dont sound that bad to me but im no psychiatrist but if you ask me you might have a slight case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with that whole touch the lamp four times thing you might want to find out about that and good luck!

i think you do have some sort of of problem but that's not big deal,pretty much everyone's a bit mad.If i were you,i would talk to a doctor and ask them to refer me to a specialist(yeah,a shrink).Mind you,if he just prescribes you pills and won't listen to you,look for another doctor.