Jiminy Crickets, How Could I Not Be?

I comes in waves.
The sadness happens when I'm alone, late at night, and I get a chance to think. I think, "There is no way I could be worth the air I breathe and the space I take up."
I know, I know, I'm hilariously emo. Im not trying to be.

A while ago I was lying in bed, (insomnia,) and I hadn't even gone to bed the night before. I literally couldn't sleep for all the thinking I was doing. I thought about perhaps killing myself. My so-called boyfriend told me that if it was what I wanted I should go for it.

Long story short, I was in a bad place.

And then I thought, ****. This isn't normal. I know most people go through a mid-life crisis, questioning their place. Hurting myself and flipping the **** out every so often isn't really normal. And it really isn't normal to want to off myself, is it? People go to therapy for this ****.
I haven't told anyone but my best friend, so I guess it's still pretty secret. I think I've gone mad. I've gone bonkers. lost mind mind. There's bats in the atic, and even if there aren't, I can assure you that it isn't pretty in there.
Psychosquid Psychosquid
18-21
Jan 8, 2013