I really do hate myself sometimes. I feel like I'm intentionally being a horrible person and it's killing me. I'm horribly mean to my family members but super nice to others.. I always blurt **** that embarrasses me later on and then I get angry about it. Gosh, I keep putting myself in these positions where I just appear as a total ***. I need to get over myself and change. My pride gets in my way of becoming who I want to be. UGH!!! Why?!? Is this my subconscious way of getting attention!?!
PandaVibes PandaVibes
18-21, M
5 Responses Sep 3, 2015

I completely understand you. I feel that way alllll the time. I try to think that I need to be a better person even if its an act. But I always end up shrugging people. And When I try to be funny, I almost always unintentionally insult people xD

We are mean to our family members and nice to others because we know our family will forgive us no matter what. It may take some time but just imagine yourself in the shoes of your mother or father and how you would feel if your son treated you that way.

Oh and don't hate yourself. No reason for that.

Well, a huge part of it is probably your age. Most of us go through that at your age. The frontal lobe hasn't completely devolved yet and that sometimes keeps you from understanding or seeing the consequences until later. Or sometimes you do... But you may not care "in the moment". It's hard to get out of that mind set but you can. Just have to work on it really hard. Throw out your pride and tell your momma you love her :) she would like that.

Thank you very much! I shall work hard. ^_^

Banish your pride, but at least you're are aware of these things, lesser people wouldn't notice them

absolutely correct !!! only few notices whts wrong in them and try to change while others still busy looking whats wrong in other people....you should probably make a note of areas where u wonna change and try improving on them one by one....