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Still Lost And Confused

I HAVE YET TO SAY THAT I AM TRULY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE I MEAN I HAD THREE CHILDREN AND THEY ARE MY HEART BODY AND SOUL BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT , THAT IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I AM ALIVE TODAY I CANT LEAVE MY KIDS UNTIL I KNOW THEY ARE READY TO HANDLE LIFE ON THERE OWN . I FEEL REALLY LONELY EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A MAN THAT I LIVE WITH AND I'M CONFUSED TO WHY I STAY WITH HIM IF HE IS TERRIBLE TO ME AND REALLY HARD ON MY KIDS SOMETIMES I TRY TO THINK WELL I HAD HARD LOVE MAYBE THEY WILL LEARN SOONER THAN LATER BUT THEN I THINK BUT WHEN I WAS A CHILD ALL I WANTED WAS REAL LOVE I WANTED TO BE LOVED AND NOTICED BY MY FAMILY WHOM NEVER DID ,I DONT KNOW ITS JUST HARD TO EXPRESS MY WORDS  BUT I KNOW IM NOT HAPPY AND I TRULY WANT TO BE , I DONT WANT TO MARRY  BECAUSE I KNOW HE IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE BUT I THINK THERE IS NO RIGHT ONE AND IF THERE IS HE WONT BE THE FATHER TO MY CHILDREN AND I COULDNT DO THAT TO MY KIDS LEAVE THERE FATHER WHEN THEY TRULY  DONT UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW , CAUSE I REMEMBER ASKING MY MOTHER WHY DID YOU LEAVE MY DAD WHEN I NEEDED HIM TO I JUST CANT TELL MY KIDS THEY WOULDNT UNDERSTAND , IM SO SAD I HATE IT SO MUCH . I DONT WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK BUT I WANT  THAT LAUGHTER I USE TO HAVE AND THE JOY  OF BEING AROUND OTHERS IM LOST AND CONFUSED, I  JUST CANT SEEM TO  FIND MYSELF . I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN I'M NOT DEPRESSED SERIOUSLY I'M JUST STUCK AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF IT . I JUST WANT IT TO BE ME AND MY KIDS RIGHT NOW . I DONT WANT A  MAN IN MY LIFE THERE JUST OT MUCH TO HANDLE .
gina200940 gina200940 41-45 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

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If this man is bad for you and the kids my advice would be to leave him. Children only need a father around when he is beneficial to them. If his conduct and behaviour is bad for you and your kids then get them out of there. It will be better for you all. That way their life will be full of love without the periods of terror and rejection. They will grow to understand in time and thank you for your actions. It has to be better than having them say at a later date "why didn't you protect us from him".



As for a new man in your life, why worry. I am sure that you have enough love to give to your children to keep them safe and well. Should the right guy come along in the future then that’s great. But if not, you’re better off on your own rather than tolerating a bad man in your life.



Some men can be self centred pigs who do not deserve to have the company of a good woman and all the comforts that come from a kept home. It sounds like you owe this man nothing. So leave him with nothing. Take yourself and your children into a safer more relaxed environment that will benefit you all. People like you with lots of love to give will always find love returned by the world’s nice people. Therefore you shouldn't feel the need to stay in a controlling and abusive relationship. You can do better!



I wish you luck and hope you find the strength within you to do what’s right for both you and your children. Please feel free to keep us updated with your progress.

I promise to keep you updated . I write these story's because I am trying to look for some good advice and so far so good. I will make a change in my life I just need to find the resources . i just have myself right now and I can't work if I have no one to watch my kids I get no help from any of my family ,I know I'll figure this out some how and again THANK YOU for your wise words of advice.