An Empty House In the Neighborhood
Our neighbors are 'just there'. We take them for granted as if they are part of the backdrop of our lives. Everyday I drive past the house on the corner and I always feel good about the single father whose kids once played in the treehouse out back. Yesterday I noticed that it was completely empty. How could a place with so much life be cleared out without a word of warning? No dogs, no band practice at night, no cars with teenagers coming and going, anymore. I felt a sense of loss, and bewilderment, to suddenly know that I knew so little about them.
The landlord drove up and told me that the place was for rent. He'd evicted the family after they'd lived there for 10 years. Times are hard right now. The guy who lived there was always friendly. He did odd jobs and hadn't had enough work to pay rent that month. Now he's gone to the big city where jobs might be easier to find. His kids are all scattered staying temporarily in different places. A family broken and displaced. How could this happen and no one even knew? I need help with a huge yard project. If only I could turn back time and go ask him to take the job. If only he'd told some of us that he needed work.
That evening I walked over to look inside the rental house. It felt like I was peering into the very life of the family who had moved. Drawings on the bedroom wall, by the kids. A yard tended with love over time (he was always making some new improvement out back). They often had parties and visitors. It was teeming with life. The empty rooms still seemed to cry out for their occupants, bereft of the furnishings, CD pla
The lights were not on as they usually were, in the pre-dusk of a fall evening. Dark silence brooded in the tiny kitchen. Why had we not gotten to know each other in all those years? Our dogs would always bark at each other. They had 2 very spirited canines--neighborhood sentries. Each day the boys would walk the dogs past our house and take them up to the greenbelt. We would wave at each other. Now I know it wasn't enough. I walked over to the side yard where there was a little lean-to with a double-canvas flap that was pulled open. Peeking inside, I saw something that broke my heart. There had been little sign of life around the place--they had taken everything with them. But here, inside this sturdy little shelter were 2 little dog houses, each one had its well-used blanket inside the opening of the little cozy compartments. Side by side they sat there, still filled with the scent of their recent occupants and who knows where the dogs had been sent... It made me feel so, so sad. They were waiting here but the dogs would never be coming back.
Times are hard right now. One family's security, familiarity, and personal history has been shattered. I feel helpless, grateful for what I have, and utterly broken-hearted. Suddenly I feel a loneliness that I never felt before in the neighborhood.
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Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 3:34AM This is a truly sad story or should I rather say experience SF.perhaps the owner has a forwading address for the 'man'?....Its a sad state of affairs but,very similar here in South Africa as well....Times are tough for each of us in our own way but,I agree with you.One should never take people for granted...It doesnt cost anything to say hello.....On that note I am going to go and say hi to my neighbour......Thanks for reminding me......... | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 8:16AM Sometimes it takes the sad reality of another's life to slap us upside the head hard enough to open our eyes. We get a bigger picture and it makes us appreciate the blessings in our own back yard. You show such compassion for this family and I'm sure you would have done something if you'd been aware of their situation. Many people will read your story and hopefully will go out today and do something kind for a neighbor or a co-worker. | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 1:34PM Thanks for the reminder, as everyone else said. What a sad story and what a brave man. We get so caught up in our own worries that we often forget someone has it worse, and like you said, it's often as close as right next door. I think I'll make some cookies for my friends, co-workers and neighbors, maybe see if they're lonely and wanna talk.... | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 3:43PM, last updated Oct 15th, 2008 at 9:18AM That is such a sad story but how many of us truly know our neighbours? There was a tv documentary called 'Our Street' on recently. It was a wealthy area in London but the mix of people that lived there was very surprising. Living amongst millionaires were people on benefits due to sickness and unemployment and elderly immigrants unable to speak English. Everyone had an interesting story to tell .. but very few knew their neighbours and there were many very lonely people. I vowed after the programme that I would get to know all my neighbours better .. but I have not as yet. | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 6:02PM Swanfeather's tale in the country, and Tasmin's tale in of the city. Alienation exists everywhere. Neighbourhoods are no longer communities. It's so very sad that so many of us do not have a broader sense of community and involvement in the world arond us. My mother told me that during the depression, it was quite common and socially acceptable for people to invite their friends to "rent parties" or "hard times" parties, potluck and BYOB, where the goodies would be raffled off at whatever prices the guests could offer. Maybe it's time to bring them back! | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 9:01PM I can't find thoughts and words to respond to this story just yet, but, just thank you swanfether, for sharing what you saw, felt and were thinking. This is a great little essay, one you might consider expanding a bit, perhaps sending to a newspaper? The way its getting all of us thinking is so important. Stories like this are unfolding all over the world now, have been happening everywhere, for a long time... people's lives falling apart, gone un-noticed... :^( | |
Posted Oct 14th, 2008 at 10:06PM, last updated Oct 15th, 2008 at 1:35AM Oh my goodness! I just arrived home from work to find all of your amazing responses. When I sent this out I did not know what could be done. I just felt so helpless and so cut off, that I had to write about it. As I read all of your thoughts it occurs to me that the concern you are expressing, the determination to reach out before its too late, the reminders of other times when people would bond together...this is what wants to be seen. This is what wants to be felt by our human heartminds. This caring that is being expressed IS whats needed for us to come together and pitch in. For us to be wiling to help each other out. It is the obvious response and yet, it can be so difficult to reach out...to go knock on a door and start the conversation. There is a silly program instilled inside of us, that fears 'looking like a fool' or something... WHY? Why have we become so walled off and so isolated? I feel encouraged and inspired by what each of you have said. Carrot, I almost want to cry thinking of the painting you have been working on. I KNOW how much it will mean to the human that belonged to this dog! I would love to see the painting... I sent this out because the pain of this family had taken root in my own heart. Now you all have taken it one step further. I feel a momentum gathering here...it is time to reverse the trend of self-sufficiency. To risk. To extend a hand, not knowing how it will be received. I am going to take a walk to another street in the neighborhood where the sister of this man's ex girlfriend lives. Her daughter used to play with his kids. Maybe she knows where they are and what they need. Maybe I can speak to my other neighbors and we can do something to let them know we care... I am so grateful to everyone for taking this so seriously and for caring. Sometimes we need (I need) the echo of other hearts joining in before I can take that first, difficult step. I WILL DO IT! I'll let you all know how it goes. And you can let us know how it goes in your corner of the world. deep gratitude to all!!!!! (and to E.P. for existing so we can all touch base in the many ways our diverse needs impel us to do...) | |
Posted Oct 15th, 2008 at 12:31AM, last updated Oct 15th, 2008 at 12:35AM What a very sobering, yet touching story of love and caring.. I'm really blown away. You are so right.. we miss these opportunities everyday to connect with people around us. What ever happened to that small town feeling and sense of community? I know my neighbors only to smile and wave at, and know little if nothing about their situations. It is very sad, the walls we put up between one another. Your story, the compassion that you express, and all the comments here inspire me to try and change this. To reach out, when the opportunity presents itself. Or better yet, create these opportunities. It can be difficult to take this step.. but the perceived 'risk' really pales to the great potential for reward. I will look forward to hearing more of this story.. and hope that I can do the same for someone. We just never know when we will need to rely on the kindness of others.. and so we really should be keeping our eyes and hearts open to them. | |
Posted Oct 15th, 2008 at 1:16AM I wonder, is there something church congregations could do about this, or is there an organization that already exists or should exist now, to help out families in our communities? Especially with all these foreclosures happening, at least in the USA. Of course, individually we should try to reach out to our neighbors but sometimes you just can't help people, their need is big. That's where groups can be more helpful, everyone pitching in together. | |
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