Soul Searchin Is Over


                  I have done some much soul searching in my life, just too find out who I really am, being adopted hasen't helped my susation that much at all either!! I have put up with my adopted parents lies about my adoption for so long that at such a youngester as a young age, I descovered that something was mine, when I confronted them about that they said that it was someone else's, but even though I was only 6 yrs of age at that time, I knew better, after that I started to put the pieces together, that is when my soul searchin started!! Growing up in a family that u really do not know much about and discovering things that confused u but u knew the truth, only made me more curiouse to find out who I really was, for my adopted parents and my adoption records made me feel like I was vanished off this Earth that we call our world today,  I might have been very young to start soul searchin at that age, but I wasen't about to put up with a restless soul and a mind wondering and poundering, about who the hell I was!! I got so feed up that I kept on putting pieces together until I was 23 yrs old that is when I came to a final halt in my life on the path of soul searching I was on, I knew then that what I had found belonged too me, I can admit I was very hotsile and angery because of all the lies and feeling like I wasen't meant too be on in this world, so that is when I came to the point of finding my birth mom, people told me including my adopted parents u do not need to find her that is when my mind stoped pondering and knew they were hidding a lot more from me than I knew about, then others said be careful at what ur doing, u may regert it badly!! This is the way I saw it, " I am not my higher powers to judge another person, I felt like my birth mom deserved a chance to get too know who her daughter was that she had given up and that she deserved a chance to be apart of my life as well, I also said too people and myself this " whatever happens in this choice that I am making bad or good I have my higher powers to hold me up and that my faith will get me through"!! Hell I was even thinking who the **** are they too judge another person, they too are not our higher powers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I found my birth mom right before Christmas and right before my 24 b-d, some how I got so close too her in such a short time its kinda weird and kinda scary  but a blessing indeed it was, but then she walked out of my life again, I still stood there by the door in my heart and my life, awatting her to come back and give her another chance, she came back but then did something that NO TRUE mother would do, put money materialitic things in front of her children, I just told her this " its gotta be true now, u deftinly are an unfit mother just like the court documents said, and I am sorry that u chose not to be apart of my life anymore, but I cannot stand here any longer holding my breathe and hope that u will change, so I closed the door and started praying for her through my Higher powers, I am still hanning on to a small glimmer of hope that one day she will want too change her ways and come back and be apart of her dughter life, but for I cannot make her its her choice but I can pray for her, like I do every night and day!!! When I confronted my adopted parents  about all the lies they had told me, it still came out as lies, so I put it in my higher powers hands and asked them too take my past away from me and let it go, and too take it from me so that I can NEVER remeber what happened too me, that they have done and inexchange they have brought me my soul mate Frank!! Frank is a man who means so much too me, he makes me happy, and out of the clear blue here latley I have been seeing myself for who I am and not what others make me feel like sometimes, its an amazing blessing in decuesse because I have done soul searching like I said since I was only 6 yrs of age and now here I stand in my middle 20's and my soul searchin is finally over, because of my higher powers and my bf and soul mate for life Frank has both helped me see who I really am and not I am FULLY COMFROTMABLE with who I am, because of thoes two people in my life that I love with all my heart, mind, soul, and body in different ways! There is an old saying I have heard since I was younger by my great grandmother before she died laying on her death bed she told me this " When u find the right one, u'll see ur soul searchin will be over and ur soul mate will appear and they too will see who u really are, and both of u will grow together in ur own souls and together as one one day", its gotta be true because Frank has grown a lot in his own soul and skin as well as me in both ways, I know Frank is my soul mate, my life partner, and so much more too come, I pray too my higher powers that one day if its in there will that maybe he will became my husban in time and in my higher powers will!!! My soul searchin is FINALLY OVER, ty too God, Mary, and my soul mate Frank!! Frank is what I live for everyday and its Frank that makes me see life for what it really is which is nothing but love and blessings, even in bad times!!



Decatied to my bf and soul mate 4 life: With Deep Love & Forever Passion Frank!!! Frank is my world and my life!!!!!:}

mysterygirlsky mysterygirlsky
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 3, 2010

Wow I got chills reading your story! I am happy that you have finally found who you are, want to be, and your choices in ife have led you to truth. I am sorry your borth mom has decided she chooses material things over love, that is sad for her, as well as you. I know that Frank has helped you and you have helped him, I am so happy for you both!<br />
You have been blessed, cherish that, and live for who you are're special!

I am glad things worked out for you in the end. You are a great person for looking on the bright side all the time!