It Lingers

I know alot of people who experience self harm often cut, there is a huge importance on the visual context of blood. I dont know any one who burns as a form of self harm, maybe I'm the only one who goes to the extremes of longing for scars that go 3rd degree. I cant explain how much I want to do it right now, seek that comfort, that way of making it release from my heart. I hate myself enough to inflict that anger, every one seems to want to **** me over for their own insecurities and issues, well why cant I do the same to myself? yes I hate me too, why should that surprise any one. its better to hurt myself instead of some one else. I dont stay alive for myself, why would i want to? living is agony maybe thats why burning feels like pleasure, why weeks pass and it still hits you like a reminder of reality. I dont feel the flames hit my skin, not any more, I'm usually too blinded by tears sharp as a razor
Curiousneed Curiousneed
31-35, F
Jul 25, 2010