A Gateway To Hell

When I was a little girl, my mom walked out of my life.
After she left, I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused for about two years..
Since I was just a young girl... I didn't know how to deal with it... That's when I started self harming.
I punched myself in the face, I beat my head up against the walls, I would bite my arms till It drew blood.
I was hospitalized at that point... But not because my step-mother really gave a rat's ***;
But because my step-mother wanted to get me away from them.
   Once I returned home from the hospital, I started Elementary School...
From first grade-Today, I have been bullied at school.
So in seventh grade, I discovered cutting.
I started cutting my forearms... But each time I did it, The lower I would go..
To this day I slit my wrists...I also cut my ankles, my stomach,
carve names and quotes into my skin... Sometimes, I still do punch myself In the face, and I
put my cigarettes out on my arm...
....Thing is... Watching blood seep from my ankles & wrists... Or the thought that
I could cut too deep and die... Neither of those things bother me....
My worst nightmare is the thought of trusting anyone... Or loving anyone...
To me, Love and trust...
They are a gateway to hell.
ALovelyLostLoner ALovelyLostLoner
May 6, 2012