Why I Do It

It all started five years ago in sec 3 my friends ditched me nd hated me they made fun of me nd wrote mean things on my locker, they wrote me threatening letters bd told me i shouldnt b living im wrothless, i was always put down by my family cus im always making meistakes my own parents called me ugly ***** cold hearted fat etc. i started to believe it i was also abused by my father my whole fanily was, it got all to much so i took a bobby pin nd scratched my arm i told my bffl at the time nd she told r whole group of friends nd they made fun of me behind my bck, in grade ten things gor better i found new friends but there were still bumps nd grade 11 everything went downhilln, idk y but now im out of high school nd have been dating my girlfriend for over a year (btw im a girl nd bisexual) wen my mom found out she disowned me nd called me a dyke discusting that i should drop dead my gf isnt even allowed in my house around my mom or too any family function or holiday nd my brothers hate it as well my dafs the only one that doesbt care, my own mother hates me she told me herself, with stress from work school nd paying **** for my car it gets all too much i have no reason too smile i try faking but it hurts to even fake, my cuts have gotten deeper nd way more then before both my arms are scarred i jst feel like im nvr good ebougj i cabt stand my own house nd i have no motivation to do anything, ive been througj way more then wat i share with u but its jst the base of my story, i cut to feel alive nd pain the only emotion i seem to no, ive tried to stop but i always go bck to it well this is my story read it or not, jst please dont hate, i got enough ppl who hate me as it is
Devil2me Devil2me
18-21, F
May 12, 2012