The first time it was just one cut. It hurt, there was hardley any blood and it stung. I'm saying this because now when I look at my legs all I see is scars. I went from one cut to thirty. The most I've ever done is sixty-three cuts in one breakdown. Sixty-three times that blade ripped accross my skin, sixty-three lines of blood all over my body, sixty-three scars. I lose control when I cut now, I can't even feel it anymore. I know what is happening and I can see the blood but it doesn't hurt. When I'm done I clean myslef off and look at what I just did to myself, that's when the embarrassment comes. This is what has happened to me, this is what I've come to, cuts. No one gets it, not my best friend, or my parents or any of you, no one. I'm scared of what I might do next.
kj333 kj333
18-21, F
4 Responses May 15, 2012

This is exactly how i feel. You are not alone :) mesg me if you need to talk <3

Thanks so much, I could use all the prayers I can get. <3

This made me cry...I understand where you are coming from. I was the same way and still struggle with this. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I'll be praying for you.

I understand..