No Reason

It's taken over my life, I can't wear dresses without a long sleeved jacket,no taking my school Jersey off, no more swimming.Do you know what it's like, to be practically be raised in water and not be able to swim because of stupid scars. I try to stop, but I can't, my friends can't make me stop cutting, my family can't, I don't know if anyone can help me.It's getting worse the 'depression' I've attempted suicide a total of three times in the last month. I wanna stop but every time I try and stop, I start again in a new place no one helps me, but it's my fault, I lied to them, a quick smile and a 'I quit, honestly, I'll never do it again ' talk and I'm clear, they trust me too much, think I'm too nice to lie to them, but how wrong there assumption are, how naive they are to believe I quit. I feel alone, but it's my fault, I wish I never started cutting, it's taken over my life, I never use to lie, I never use to betray my family and my friends trust, or is it my fault I changed. Cutting ruined me, and I hate the fact no one seems to notice, and yet I love it, because that means they don't suspect I'm still cutting. I hate being alone, but in all honesty, it's all my fault.
SmilesandOtherLies SmilesandOtherLies
May 18, 2012