... and I Enjoy It.

I hurt myself, and I have no intention of stopping either. I used to wish I could stop - but that's when I thought I had a problem. What I do is no worse than smoking or drinking. SI won't give me cancer, it won't rot my liver, it won't paralyze me or give me a horrible STD. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the safest ways to physically cope with an emotional problem. I love my scars, they are a part of who I am.

Edit: Just as an update, for those who had any interest in my story... I still stand to it, every word. I was not suicidal, and was very careful/hygienic, having a background in first aid I never put myself in any danger. I have since stopped hurting myself. I can't say the need ran dry, but a very special person in my life does not deserve to deal with everything that comes along with self-injury. He helps me deal with it, and after getting rid of all of my SI paraphernalia years ago, I haven't hurt myself since. It helped me deal with a lot of bad stuff at the time, and my scars are proof that I made it through alive and safe, when I could have otherwise turned to drugs or other dangerous activities.

If you harm yourself, you don't have to feel guilty about it. I can tell you that it gets better, but seek help! Get the attention you need, confide in a friend, or make a pact with someone you trust. We both know you don't really want to kill yourself, or you'd have done it by now. Always take care of your wounds, and if you aren't willing to take care of your injuries, you may be suffering in ways that self-injury can't help.
slowrewind slowrewind
22-25, F
10 Responses May 6, 2007

You are so strong for posting this :) this reaaly gives me hope in life ive been cutting for 3 whole years now

I agree, there are worse things to do to yourself. I cut a lot too. almost everyday. And I know that if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to cope with life. The way I see it, it's either a few scars on my wrist or something much worse. You just need to be careful, that's all.

the way i see YES one cut can go bad, but when you've been doing it for so many years you KNOW how deep to cut. there ARE worse things out there than self injury.

I cut myself almost every day and I can't stop.

why should I stop cutting myself if it brings me peace and fun?

I like it. It's... Fun. I don't know. No one will try to stop me anyway. And I use scar cream to hide it from my family. My friends know, they don't mind. I have about 15-30 scars, I don't know, alot have faded. It's not that big of a deal to me.

That's a ridiculous question. Why do people make such a big deal when you tell them you are in so much emotional pain that you have to physically hurt yourself to make it stop? Gee. I have no idea.<br />
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And to the rest of the posters here, your responses have been giving me the giggles for years. I've had responses to my own topic flagged and removed, which is a petty thing to do. I have a valid, healthy viewpoint. Cutting helped me get through an incredibly different period of my life. I could have ruined my liver on alcohol, or abused heroin or oxycodone, but instead, I have a few dozen scars that remind me that I made it out alive. My body is completely unharmed (except for a few marks on my skin), and I'm alive and well. I'm personally very proud of myself - you all can think whatever you like.<br />
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No one should be ashamed of their self-injury. It isn't an addiction. It isn't a mental affliction. It's not hiding from your emotions - it is embracing your emotions. I could have boiled over with the pain inside and had a complete mental breakdown. I couldn't afford therapy, I couldn't afford medication, and I had a way to mitigate the pain without chemicals. If I and my loved ones are comfortable with my scars, what has happened in your life that makes you strangers so uncomfortable with them? :]<br />
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There's no need to judge here. We're all here to share our experiences. Instead of judging my experience, and my way of expressing my emotions, maybe you should move on as I have?

if we don't have to feel guilty about it, why do people make such a big deal when the y find out your a cutter?

I struggle with it too. Although its tempting to hear your take on our burden and use it to make it ok, I cannot. I know in my heart and from what I read that hurting myself will never be a healthy way to cope. I understand you though. I know that it feels better than any other way out and my mind craves it. I will feel incredible stress and when others would go out and drink or smoke or use drugs, I find something sharp (and a bottle of peroxide to follow with). May time bring us clearer answers and a better understanding of ourselves. Kudos on your honesty.

But on wrong cut can kill you. It can kill you and escalate to worst things. I read a story of one person almost dieing because she had no way of cutting herself and she used a belt to strangle her self till she passed out. She landed on the belt and it did not give back circulation. If her mom was not there she would be dead. It becomes a part of you and you can't live without it. If you can't cut yourself you go crazy and try to find other ways. No one said drinking and smoking were good but what you are doing is not healthy at all. I don't want to come off as if I am attacking you, just don't want you to meet your end.

i love cutting and i am not ashamed of it,it makes me feel sooo much better,i tried other things like drinking but all that did was make me wake up and regret what i did the night before.

I am a cutter have been for five years, i love doing it but i keep it hidden, it makes me feel alive nd like theres no worries , ur calm nd relaxed i love it ive tried stopping but it comes bck nd haunts my broken dreams

i have cut before. i enjoyed it. it use to control me. but i have recently met soemone that makes everything better for me. since me and him started going out&lt; i have lost interest in cutting. thanks boo&lt;3