I Started Cutting In Seventh Grade....

I started cutting in 7th grade. I didn't really talk much to people about how I really felt so it all just kind of bottled up. It started off because I was curious as to why people did it. The first time I did it was because of some silly boy. I don't remember the reasons why I continued. More sever problems though. It became a habbit ...a ritual almost. I couldn't sleep very well and every night I would cut myself and go to sleep...just stop crying..stop thinking....just sleep. I did that for a long time. I got a little better. I did it a few times in the years to come but they kept getting less frequent but more deep. I'm proud to say I haven't cut in months but last time I did it I went a little to deep and it didn't heal right. Partially because I wouldn't let it and kept messing with it. I don't like for people to see it. It's so big and discusting looking...everyone thinks it's a burn so I say I got burned with a straightner. I still harm myself...but not in that way. I developed eating issues...and well ...I'll just end it at that.
Eskimo Eskimo
18-21, F
8 Responses Aug 1, 2007

I started my first cut in 7th grade too. Now I'm a college student, and I can't stop to cut myself.

i too started to self harm in 7th grade which as last year i am in 8th grade n still am. it is addicting..

what you said about the last time that you injured yourself is exactly what happend to me.<br />
it looks gross and everybosy thinks its a burn but im saying that its my dog that jumped on me when he was exited to see me.<br />
mine disgusting too, i used fingernails and a` small blade. a tiny one. beraly blood but stiil looks deep and ugly and it hurts my bones

what you said about the last time that you injured yourself is exactly what happend to me.<br />
it looks gross and everybosy thinks its a burn but im saying that its my dog that jumped on me when he was exited to see me.<br />
mine disgusting too, i used fingernails and a` small blade. a tiny one. beraly blood but stiil looks deep and ugly and it hurts my bones

I think its good that yoy have stopped cutting yourself,, but you need to try and find a way to vent that inner pain.. ii kno iim making it sound easy,, ii have been through this and its really not.. ii hav the scars to prove it,, ii wanna help other people,, and find the support ii need,, ii hav stopped,, but everyone once in a while,, ii nearly slip up,, ii had someone who stopped it,, but yesterday the flipped on me,, and told me to do it,, iim weak so ii found this site,, ii know just how yu feel,, ii couldnt talk to people either,, and its always a small thing that pushes you too far,, but once youre there it feels like there is no going back,, hopefully,, we can help each other..

thats good to hear. am doing good. i use to do drugs, tried to kill myself too...but i realized that **** happens. and its part of our lives, and i think i can say that we can be stronger after we go through these things. had the opportunity to share my life to kids when i gave seminars and recollections before, and it helped me, and i hope those kids too. for sure you can do that too!

I'm doing alright. I mean i haven't cut in a really long time...but other things are still an issue. How are you?

how are you doing now?