I...

have cuts on my left arm or it's more proper to say scars really.. some have faded away but no matter how gone they are i can still see the lines sometimes i almost feel sad to know they are begining to dissapear...i remember the first time i cut was just to see blood or least i think.. and then for some reason when i went to wipe it away [[the blood]] i almost fainted or i did but i did not fully lose consciousness and ever since then at random i almost lose consciosness..anyways a few times later i cut my self just because i became depressed at times...i didn't do it all the time but when i did i would cut serveral lines down my arm with glass and it felt satisfying to see the blood...the last time i cut was a few months back and there are scars there ...they're on my arm on the part were you flex your muscle...they were the worst i've done...the scars are noticeable and have been noticed recently last month when i went to the hospital for having an anxiety attack and had to get an iv..that didn't work twice so they had to put it in my left arm...later on my aunt saw them i can't remember who else saw them but i said i didn't know what it was...and before when i made those cuts i hid them with an armband ...one of those bracelet things...

lately i've been feeling the need to cut agian...i don't know why  i just want to but i don't want people to see the scars..or i'd rather them just not ask... 

Loganberry Loganberry
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 15, 2007

today i looked at my arms they covered so obvious a 5 year old child i look after noticed them and asked me if a cat had scrathed me.i cant even do the washing up as i hate to pull up my sleeves.<br />
My belly, legs and chest all marked all ever apparent they will not fade there are too many there too deep and ot makes me fel proud and happy but also sad.its a misson of what to wear everyday as it has to be long enough or i have to a cardigan on all day. But still i sit here before i cut mysef and think well my arms are ruined i can never not worry about the scars so... a few more wont hurt...

My scars are so apparent i don't think they will ever fade ... with i hate !! i can never wear short sleeves !!<br />
xx

well i haven't been doin it long but in a why it makes me feel better inside. like you said i want to hurt other but that isn't an option so i use my self for my anger. i don' thave anger problens but i need to get rid of my anger and i find it is the best it is like no one understands why and it is to complicated to explain to your friends but inside you know. it makes everything else disapear and make everything right xx

The more I see my scars fading, the more often I think about making more, but i don't think i will. For some reason sometimes it helps calm me to run my fingers along a scar of two of my own making and to remember. I don't really know why I ever cut, I was very depressed and having routine panic attacks from unmedicated OCD and anxiety. I think i wanted to hurt others but that wasn't an option... it just felt good too, even though it hurt