Thought I Was Over It

im sitting here again, where i thought i would never be, starring at my knife occasionally running my finger across the blade. i thought i had stopped, i thought i would never be in this position again where i so badly want to cut, where i can actully see myself doing it. its been 51 days since i cut, the longest ive ever went, i dont want to but its seems like the only option.

i am shaking, struggling to breath, i can feel my heart pounding. all the anger and frustration is eating me up inside. im trying to tell myself i can fight these feelings.....but i dont know if i can. it all sounds so petty, i can feel a tear trickle down my cheek.

i just want out of this. i wish i had never started. i want it all to go away.

detourahead detourahead
18-21, F
Feb 21, 2010