I Cut Myself

I honestly hate feeling pain. I hate cutting myself. I hated burning myself, too. But it makes getting through another day so much easier.

When my mom tells me for the fifth time that day that I'm incompetent, when my friends start making fun of the lesbians in my school, when the one person who actually wants to understand me gives up and when someone asks me yet again if I'm okay, I bury my sadness, smile for a few hours, and when I'm alone, I cut myself.

On the rare days when none of the above happen, I dread having to cut myself, but I do anyway. I remember the days when I didn't cut myself that day and realize that I don't want to go through that again. So I cut myself.

Those days are the worst. It's a struggle not to burst out crying, let alone try to fake a smile..

Am I the only one who cuts them self just to get through the day?

(Just in case you didn't realize, I'm gay)
TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw
18-21, F
Nov 25, 2012