I Used To Self Harm.

Hey, i'm 18 and i started self-harming from the age of 7. I felt like everybody hated me and that they didn't want me. I never used to get on with my mum because i thought she always favoured my older sister so we used to bicker all the time. Then something happened and i felt like i was the mother and not the daughter. My mum was depressed so she was prescribed anti-depressants but they made her alot worse. I can remember hearing my mum come upstairs and go straight in the bathroom so i stood outside the door and listened... i heard boxes and packets rustling, my mum crying and saying how much she wanted to die. It went on for a couple of minutes then she came out and told me go back in the living room so i did and she followed. I sat down on the sofa and looked at my mum i noticed she didn't seem with it. Her eyes were going blank and she started swaying, that's when she collapsed. I checked her pulse and started crying then i went to ring an ambulance i was searching everywhere for the house phone but i couldn't find it. My stepdad walked in the room with the phone in his hand i told him what happened and he said 'just go bed and she will be fine when you wake up tomorrow'. That's when i started self harming.... luckily my mum didn't die but over the years she carried on overdosing on anything she could find then a couple of years ago she started drinking. I had to go and live with my nan and grandad because after it happened the first time she changed and so did i. Anyway i was at my nan and grandads for two years still spoke to my mum had to ring quite a few ambulances for her aswell because she was stupid. My nan took me the doctors and showed him my wrists (i thought it was my little secret) he told me if i did it again i would be sectioned. Thats when i realised i had to stop doing it. I met my current fiance two years ago, we live together and are planning a family. It was the day i met him i stopped self harming. Yes it was a long road but i reached it and i keep getting stronger everyday, i had tattoos on my wrists so now whenever i hear the voices telling me to harm myself i say no.
Just thought i would tell my story and hope that i can help others and to show that if i can beat the demons in my head so can everyone else.
helpingothersxox helpingothersxox
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2012

I'm glad I'm not the only one that covered up my wrist with a tattoo. It helps me also to say no. Being young and watching your mom do that is not easy. I don't have the same experience but have had plenty of friends that were doing the same thing. I admire you for staying strong. Most people don' t know that self harm is an addiction and a lot of kids and teens need help for it.