The Me Only I See.

Hello,
I am nothing special. I am just me. I'm weird, funny, a great friend, and the happiest person my friends know.
Or that's what everybody thinks. But really the real me is hidden way down deep. Very few have been willing to see what's under the walls I put up. Even fewer have stuck around to help me through it.
I am a cutter. I have been for 2 and a half years. I don't cut much and I've never cut deep. I only cut when I feel like my world is falling apart. I started cutting a few months after my dad died in 2010. Things have been ruff.
I started cutting because I thought I had nothing left to live for. I had wanted to die. It was, in my mind, the first step towards death.
A while after I started cutting (I've only cut a little over 50 times during theses 2 and a half years) I found a great friend. I didnt tell her about the cutting until reasently, but she understands. Last May I found myself an amazing boyfriend, who broke down all the walls and found the real me. He has saved me from myself many times and is one reason I am still alive. He has been, and is still in the same place I am at. He has cut and been hurt more times than anyone should have been.
Anyways to end this rant, things eventually get better. Or that's what I tell myself. Things could always be worse. If any of you ever need a friend or someone to rant to, I will help as much as I can.
missme153 missme153
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 5, 2012

i have been like that as-well but i had none

I'm sorry you had nobody there. Sometimes the people dont really help and I loose myself in the moment and cut... Then I feel bad cause I've let the people I care about down.

i have been like that as-well but i had none