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I Can't Stop

I haven't been self harming for very long...I only really started doing it 3 months ago. But I'm addicted, I can't stop. I have scars all over my arms and legs. I finally found a way to let out my self-hatred. I feel like no one cares about me so it's not hurting anyone but me. I like that. I feel like I deserve it, I SHOULD have marks on my body because I'm worthless and no one will love me anyway so it's not all that important how scarred I am. Everytime something or someone upsets me, I cut. Sometimes for no reason at all, just because it was exhausting trying to make it through the day. All my days are bad. I feel like I am all alone. I feel like I annoy people when I talk to them, so I barely talk to anyone. I act like I'm happy around my friends, and they never ask. But when I go home none of the people I hang out with try to text me or talk to me or make plans, and it makes it worse. My mom treats it like it's a nuisance to her, like I'm cutting myself on purpose to irritate her. I wish she didn't know, that also makes it worse. Even my therapist says I am doing it to "fit in". I cannot stand it. It's driving me crazy. I cut several times a day now...and everything keeps getting worse.
iwillalwaysrefusetosink iwillalwaysrefusetosink 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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You are not worthless and someday you will meet someone to love respect. And care for you like you need if you need someone. To talk to message Me ill help you

Sometimes people get to caught up in there own lives to realize what's happening to others around them. Cutting is and always will be a temporary fix. You should try finding healthier Outlets and learn to love yourself. I hope this helps.

I know how that is and it's the same thing with me, but when you start doing things you love it gets your mind of thing and one of them is self harm and anyways I'm here if you need some one to talk, k bye.

I will also add you would need, some emotional support, if you have someone who can show you some form of love, hopefully that self-respect can lead to you gaining the social support needed or you can look for that love with-in youself.

Sound like you may need new people in your life, I take it that you have self-hatred because you think that everone around doesn't like you, if you could was there anything you can tell that may have happend in your past that help make you not like yourself.

I somewhat agree with agree with the therapist, but sometimes you have to make an emotional impact on some people to get a text, to talk, or go out with them(hobbies, interest, personalities, etc).