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Its Been Too Long. .

Hi everyone. My self harming experiance started back when i was 13. I have been hurting myself for more then 6 years. Its hard to stop, i go through phases where i think i can and i go through weeks without doing it but then it will get worse, more frequent and more severe. Its kind of a habbit as well as a coping mechanism now and i dunno how to stop. It all started because i developed a neurological condition and it still affects me today, it can be hard to deal with not having the use of my left side and some of my right
RSDxGirlie RSDxGirlie 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 23, 2013

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I've been self harming for like 9 years now. I kind of don't really know. Ii think it was since I was a sophomore in high school.

I don't know how to stop either. :(

I have lived in and around the very religious type for a long time. It drives me crazy when I hear people say, "Your body is the temple of God and you can stop and all that." I've tried and tried and begged God to help me stop but I can't.

I find the best thing for me to do is write. Sometimes writing what I feel... and expressing my fears and sorrows through words helps me. It's not always enough. Sometimes I reach into the drawer of my nightstand. Nobody else lives with me. Nobody else knows. I grab onto an old, familiar and cliche razor blade that I have used so many times. My impulses defeat me, and I do it. :(

But writing helps.

I your still having problems try Icecubes or if you want it to stop you have to understand what emotions bring the cutting and then transfer those emotions into different actions. So if your sad maybe write a blues song, write(like you said), watch a movie, write a poem, but it is very import to channel emotions into an activity or something productive. But yeah I can't stand the whole religious/spirituality thing neither, it's their right to speak but the religious/spirituality spamming is annoying at times.

I write at: smilesandlies.blogspot.com

I read it, that was beautiful in how you expressed you pain in your writing, I wouldn't encourage you to write in pain only cause I want you to get better, but if you ever transfer your emotions into something else keep up writing, never let go of it.

I have another non-anonymous blog that I also write a great deal at-- which isn't sad :) only two people in my life know I struggle with self harm. That's why the sad blog is appropriately called Smiles and Lies.

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Is the self-harm self-hatred as well?

No. It is self preservation.

You body is temple of God, do not hurt it. What you are doing is work of satan. He is making you do it and destroy yourself. You are creation of God and satan wants to destroy everything what God created. Dont let him get successful at that. Ask Jesus for help, i m sure he will free you. Everything is not possible for you but by grace of god you can stop it, so ask him. You do not receive because you dont ask, ask him and he will give you..