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This Is My Last Plea.

Everyone always warns of never falling in love. I wish I would've listened. I can't even breath right now. I've been dating Brenner for almost a year. I finally told him that I was molested by my dad when I was little. He left me. He called me a disgusting, incestuous *****. A good for nothing waste of space.
That was all a lie. I've been dating him for three months. I'm horrified that if I ever tell him, that's what he'll do. But if I wait until we are dating for that long and I am in love with him and that happens, I'll die. Even now I can't even breathe thinking about it.
I am absolutely horrified. There's too much pressure in my wrists. I've never wanted to self-harm more in my entire life than right now. Every cell of my being is telling me that I need it. I can't do this anymore. I need help. I need understanding. Please, anyone.
vicspen vicspen 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 23, 2013

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I don't think he would leave you because of that. It's not like you could have controlled your dad's actions. If he did then he is just an idiot.

True..

Wow I have a ****** night you have a hellish morning. Probably why I woke up despite needing two more hours of sleep. Anyways vicspen they are right. Death and bloodshed is not an answer for one secondly if he says that he is to immature to understand what happened. This isn't you its him. I know I've known many molested women. Many are ex lovers of mine many had situations simillar to yours.

And what's more all of Them had and have the same feelings fears and nerves you do.

He didn't say any of that I'm just scared he will if I ever tell him.

Oh I See irrational fear. Everyone has those to fear is human. If he is a real adult and loves you he'll take you in his arms and hug you and say he is sorry. If he is a brainless insecure child he will insult you like you think and he needs to grow up and learn you hold No blame in this. If he is not sure what to do he will say he needs to think on it or just turn and walk to give himself space.

I guess..

Vicspen I know love I know life. And one heart may hurt and remain but the people who really care are there for life. Everyone on this site in example cause believe me first love is the hardest but it isn't always the deepesr or best.

Thanks

Yw sorry for the delay phone died at school

4 More Responses

Don't self harm. I know it's hard not to, but it's not worth it.
If he is your real love, or if he really loves you back he will understand your past. Message me if you need to talk, I'll always be here for you.
Missme153