I refuse to be ashamed, I don't regret tonight, and I enjoyed it.
I've come a long way yet little things still upset me so much, I know I'll regret posting this soon but I don't want to hide it anymore, you thought there was a chance to save me but you were wrong. I'm sorry. People have different ways of getting out emotions, my problem is that I can't tell people how I feel, so I make myself bleed. It makes no sense I know, but I can't change, I've tried for two years and I just CANT.
Xxx
BulletproofLoneliness BulletproofLoneliness
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

If you need a friend or to talk to anyone I am here.

I know how you feel for some reason it makes you feel better for a short time but the pain comes back and you do it again. It is not easy to stop. Is it possible well yeah but not being able to speak to people doesn't help. Have you tried to see a counsellor ?

I have seen a counsellor for 2 years, that's why I said I've come a long way, yet there are little things I still can't get rid of /: I think I'll just have to live with it as it's only around 2 times a month

You have come a long way and that's good. I could give you the be positive chin up ask why etc etc but I am sure you ve heard it all before and tbh I agree with if the be positive stuff but it doesn't always work. You don't have to live with it you need to find a way of coping. It is not easy if it was then people would stop quicker and not do it again. What do you think would help you ?

I don't know, my therapist seems to think I am fine. I just struggle to tell people things, like tonight, I was upset with somebody, but instead of telling them, I cut myself! It makes no sense but it's just how I cope

Well if you are cutting yourself n your therapist thinks your fine then your therapist needs a therapist. People who self harm don't need to be crazy or anything but have just got into a circle of self harming. You need to break that circle. Can I ask you who upset you ?

I do, but it's hard to break it, it's like smoking yknow, haha.
And I don't really wanna put it in public, would it be ok to say over message?

Of course

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