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I Self-harm

So. Yep. I'm One Of 'those' People.

By: Saffyx
Written on April 1st, 2010

I'm 17, i've been cutting for a few months. I didnt mean for it to get this far, so that i couldnt stop and so that i needed to do it to survive and cope. 

At the same time, i wish i had thought of doing it all those years when i just suffered alone with no escape and no way to get relief. 

I'm confused, i dont know whether i love it or hate it. Whether i am proud or ashamed. If i love my cuts or hate them. If i want to stop or if i dont. I get such a mix of feelings about it.

I just want stability and control in my life, i want the pain to go away. I go to a counselor now, she helps, but i dont think she realises just how much i hurt inside cause i simply cant express it properly. She's the only person who knows i cut. i need her, i need help, i need to stop SH, i need to keep SH. Its all a bit of a mess now  :(

By: Saffyx
Age: 16-17 , Female
508 people have read this story

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11 responses
  • Poemer
    Poemer

    Try to get better, ok

    Jan 7
    1 like
  • Adilane
    Adilane

    I self harm also well I did I stopped last night it's not good for you and it's definitely not good for a 13 year old like me. I know you can get through this :)

    Jan 5
    1 like
  • blueyedgirl17
    blueyedgirl17

    i also self-harm and i feel the same way.a lot of people think that wat im doing is stupid but i feel like its my best friend; its there to the very end.

    Dec 30, 2012
    1 like
  • inexperiencedaboutlife
    inexperiencedaboutlife

    i think people who have never self harmed cant really understand how good it can make you feel. i know cause i self harm too. i know there are better outlets and im trying but i dont always succeed. hang in there you're not alone, keep trying and talking.

    Nov 20, 2012
    2 likes
  • slowcheetah
    slowcheetah

    Wow, i feel just like you. there are really mixed feelings about my cuts, and it looks like they relieve me, but people see so much bad on them it makes me feel guilty :/ it's confusing

    Nov 20, 2012
    1 like
  • RazorsAreRelief13
    RazorsAreRelief13

    I feel you. Ive cut for 5 years, and I'm like way younger than you. Well anyways . I'm here if you need to talk.

    Oct 11, 2012
    1 like
  • ToriJustTori
    ToriJustTori

    whats SHing just asking ?

    Jul 7, 2012
    2 likes
    • lizziefame
      lizziefame

      self harming.

      Jul 18, 2012
      1 like
    • ToriJustTori
      ToriJustTori

      oh true sorry not good a short hand

      Jul 20, 2012
      1 like
  • Dog147
    Dog147

    I recently started SHing. I get what you mean about counselors not understanding just how much it hurts and how cutting really does seem to help.

    Jun 12, 2012
    2 likes
  • kkzz
    kkzz

    Im getting the wanting to cut to i no what you mean

    Apr 1, 2010
    2 likes