My Story.

Last year one of the people i was closest to died.. It was my Grandad, he had cancer and couldn't fight it any longer, when he turned 80 on 13th august we thought he was okay but only 3 days later on the 16th August he passed away. Everyone goes on about how they want new phones or ipods or whatever, well think about what a person with cancer wants.. a chance to live their life properly.

After my grandad passed away i started to become very self-consious and i began to self harm (cutting, punching walls, nipping myself), i kept it all to myself and every night i'd sit and i'd take a razor and cut my wrists or legs.. my mind went blank, in a way i thought it would help because it would be hurting me not anyone else but i was wrong in the end, when my mum and dad found out it destroyed them, they couldn't understand what had happened or why i did what i did but ever since i've had meetings and hospital appointments and i was diagnosed with anxiety, i'm getting the treatment i need to get better and I always think about other people before i do anything stupid.. Although i've had bad and good days i've not cut for 3 months.. I've had suicide thoughts but then i realized that it wouldn't just kill me it would kill my family too..

I thought i had nothing to live for but i do, i need to live to show my Grandad he can be proud of me and that i'm stronger than i think, i'm happy now and instead of moving backwards im going forwards and putting all the bad memories in the past!

In the end i've helped myself and i want to try help other people try find the positives of life and forget about the negatives.. Now because i've had the experience and the advice i'm able to let others confind in me:)
longinglife longinglife
13-15, F
1 Response Dec 4, 2012

You are so strong for sharing your story. Best of luck to you.