Two Lost PeopleWell, as of yesterday it's been six months since I last saw her - so now's probably a good time to start properly getting this off my chest.
There are a lot of factors that have been bothering me. I think I should focus firstly on the fact that she was an amazing friend, and that's what I miss above all else.
She was only in the country for a few months - but somehow we became incredibly close friends. I think it had been a while since I'd met anyone so inspiring. I'm not sure whether or not she thought the same of me - but she did say that she'd never met anyone like me before.
A little like magic - I was in a low place in life and she almost popped out of nowhere. Completely lost in a new country and city - where oddly enough, despite being my home, I was also completely lost. Last autumn/winter I became very withdrawn and alienated myself from a lot of my friends - disappearing for weeks at a time, hardly going into Uni. But she was the one person I was happy to go out with, or even just hang around with.
She opened up to me about her self-harm and I listened intently. It took a good hour or so but I eventually (and very nervously) told her I did the same. She's the third person to be aware of it.
She was spontaneous and had a childish sense of humour, she wrote amazing poetry and was strikingly beautiful - but these things I probably will never experience again as our friendship is over. I understand that for her, things became a lot different and difficult when she moved back home. For me - London (the town I've lived in and around all my life) just isn't the same without her. That'd be love.