Did I Go Along With It?

I was about, 7 years old. My mom and dad had just gotten divorced and my mom had gotten a new boyfriend. Her "new man" had 2 kids one boy and one girl. They were both older then me, the boy being 14 and the girl 16. Recently being moved into their house I was just getting used to who would soon be my step siblings. I had my room right next to my mom's boyfriends son and right across from his daughter. After a little while of living at that house, the 14 year old son started constantly barging into my room and pulling my pants down every time. I then would lock my door, but he then would pick my lock like it was nothing. At this young age I didn't know what this meant and or what he was planning to do, so I just kept enduring it. He still was pulling my pants down every day sometimes more then once, and he started saying that it was just a "fun game" and he ordered me to pull down his pants also. I assume it was to cause him some pleasure. I did what I was told, only being a 1st grader I didn't know any different. After this event was going on continuasly for quite a while he started then coming into my room every day and performing oral sex on me. At the time I didn't know what oral sex was? And that he was doing it to me. He would ask me to suck on his penis, feel him up, and the most vivid thing I remember is him asking me to play with his penis with my hands. At this time in my life, I think where was his sister? She was in the house some where most often in her room. But why didn't she help me? I also remember wanting to get away so desperately but having no way to keep him out as he would find a way in my room. To this day I still haven't told anyone about my experience nor any of the details I explained here. I feel ashamed and that I went along with him? I can't find closure and it feels great to explain my happenings. Although many of the memories are foggy, I still get flashbacks almost everyday of this event. I now don't know where he is. But later, my mom and his dad broke up so we moved out and that's how I got away from it. But getting away from it physically doesn't take away my memories.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 17, 2013