Am Atheists Story

When I fell awake in 1970 it was a terrific thing, but I was a hardcore atheist at the time. Had no idea what happened until someone handed me a copy of Ramana Maharshi's "Who Am I". Well, it became a little clearer, but it took some time to learn about the experience. It seems I had done the hard work a few years earlier. The hard work consisted of spending a year living in all consuming fear of death. I finally learned to control my mind, which upon reflection is almost as valuable as the awakening . It seems one must go thru this, control of the mind to get past the gates of hell. All others I know about have gone thru a similar thing before getting the brass ring. One of the percs of the thing is realizing that you are god. Along with this should come the realization that everyboby is god, if this does not happen you will probably start a cult with you up on a pedestal.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I joined a church and it was OK
after year or so found myself on 4 commitees, which proves Woody Allen's saying that 90% of life is showing up. OK so now I am going to church, listening to guys up front talking about stuff in a book written a long time ago by men who obviously did'nt have a clue about what I knew. So, came to the conclusion that religion had nothing to do with the Tao. TAO is the word for the ground of being or the Atman in hindu. Religion is a good thing for most folks, allows them to live with unanswered questions, to be happy with these things hidden behind a veil of nystery. So for me it's been almost 40 year in a state of living in a world transformed in to the heaven an hell only dreamed about.
davemahar davemahar
70+, M
1 Response Jan 11, 2013

I, too, read Maharshi in a quest to find what what happening to me after I felt a pulling apart feeling in my chest. I believe it was a circumcision, of sorts, or more accurately stated a death to what is false... the world where thoughts reign asTruth, blinding us to our true essence. I experienced a "peeling off" of the false, only leaving the true. The true merged into physical world. The manifested world, we see through God's eye, became beauty to me... through observing it's utter lack of any and all power... leaving just beauty. My experience, unlike yours, was filtered through the eye of a seeker of Scripture, who felt called by that same Holy power at birth,,, telling me, as a promise to me made in an earthly way, that I would seek correctly and find the throne room of god. Look at your whole experience through the hidden Truths of the Bible and the Spirit that comes seeking will be of God, from God, and God himself. I would say the difference between you and I is that I would say, as you stated in your narrative "I am God" - I would state, "God is me" Ego is gone in true enlightenment. When it stays, it keeps tricking the mind to believing it. It is paradoxical always,