Maybe I Have Too Much Jealousy

This actually occurred before Beth became my wife; in fact it was quite early in our relationship, when I still thought I could be dominant.

We were both new to the real world of BDSM so we tested the waters carefully. The first time we went to a BDSM party at a club we just watched. I know my eyes were practically falling out of my head at what I saw and that was sort of tame stuff as alcohol was being served so the arm of the law made more restrictive rules than just Safe, Sane, Consensual

I had bought a riding crop,supposedly BDSM style, through mail order to use on myself so soon we brought that with us. She wore her collar and I lead her around with a leash. We played. Nothing major happened - except somebody started to talk with us. Apparently something we had done, or the appearance of Beth herself had interested this guy. I asked him if he wanted to play with her. Of course, he said "Yes!" I handed him the leash and he led her over to the frame and I followed close behind. He fastened her into the frame facing him and then started to use the crop on her.

He wasn't violent or harsh; he reached her; she went into subspace. You could see it in her eyes. She really was submitting to him, in a way I had never seen her submit to me. When he was done, he offered the crop to me. However, I knew I was so angry it would be very unsafe to use it right then. I do not claim my anger was justified, by all means, No, it was not. Nothing had happened that I did not open myself for. I got what I deserved.

That was one of the many signs that I should not attempt to be a dominant; and one of the many signs that I need to watch out for the green-eyed monster.
MPsslavetommy MPsslavetommy
70+, M
Jul 27, 2010