Should I Get Back With Drug Addicted Boyfriend

Ok, so you've read the title of this post and you, like my friends, are shouting ' No! No! are you crazy? Do you want to destroy your life?" and similar. But , you know, as with most things, there's a little more to it than that. I'll give you a quick recap. I met David two years ago on an on line dating site. I was initally drawn to his picture - he looked cute, worked out and handsome -.you'd never imagine thatv he was addicted to heroin. We corresponted for a few months and got on like a house on fire , he was funny, sensitive and kind - and I'd not experienced that level of intimacy ever before .

We talked about everything. His Dad beat him up as a child and he shared all of those frightening experiences with me sobbing and holding me as he shared his story . I also told him things that I'd never told any partner - like being molested when i was 12 - he shared a deep bond I thought. He told me that he was a recovering addict and that the last time he used was 5 years ago.I thought that , although it wasnt ideal, at least he was being honest about his past and  he was in recovery so that was OK - five years is a good chunk of sobriety.So we became involved with each other and started dating and , yes, it was an intimate and sexual ( safe) relationship and I adored him- he was so funny and sweet.

When I was sick , with the flu, he dropped everything and nursed me back to health he also id lot of other cute sweet things and we shared amazing sexual chemistry.. Things were going great until one night, after having the most amazing sex he said that he needed to go for cigarettes to the local store. I'd dozed off as it was very late and I was tired. He work me up and said " I'm so sorry but I cannot hide it from you anymore" his eyes were pinned and it was obvious that he'd just got high. The next morning, when we woke up, we decided to split. He said that he did not want to break my heart but he was back on drugs again. We both criedbut I had to accept that he'd been lying to me all along and had never really been clean.

It was easy to be fooled he was working as a fitness instructor and you'd never guess that he was on smack. Well. that was 6 months ago and I think about him all the time and I 've worried about him a lot - wondering if he's ok. Today I got an e mail from him saying that he's totally clean. I've cleaned my act up too. When we were dating I smoked a lot of cigarettes and drank too much . Now I don't smoke and rarely drink. He's just  graduated from a diploma  course in civic rights and is holding down a well paid prestegious full time job - where he's getting promoted. He's back on track and is going to meetings twice a day.

It all sounds great but can I trust him? and should I go there again. I really care for this man and it looks like he's getting his life back together. The problem is that if I meet him next week it would just be so easy to fall back into his arms  and start the relationship again but I could end up getting really hurt? I'm healthy and well and in a really good space and don't want to jepordise that. Is it worth taking the risk? Dosent everyone deserve a second chance??

cocopops40 cocopops40
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 18, 2010

Is he getting any professional or NA help with his addiction? 6 months isn't very long, plus how do you know if he isn't still lying to you? I would steer clear awhile longer, and if y'all get back together he's got to earn back a lot of trust from you and be responsible for his own actions.