Too Far Away

 I met Jake on myspace  over a yr ago last month ...  and he seemed to good to be true  i should have taken it from Eminems song  if it seems to good to be true they usually are ... but anyways ... at first i screwed it up .. i got scared. it was my first relationship since i  got out of TAP ... the second ( and final time i saw him he got a dui n lost his license ) he told me he thought he was falling in love with me ... thats when i got scared  i mean how many times had i heard that before  right ? well after he lost his license  he moved back to Iowa .. where he was originally from . and  we kept in contact occasionally .. I got in a relationship in November which was awful .  Then  in the beginning of February  he messaged me on myspace and said he wanted to see me in april when he came here ...  other things had happened  and i went into a severe depression . I ended it with my bf at the time because he was a narcissistic  jerk  then i canceled my myspace because i wanted God to decide who came into my life ... well in april  i met this guy who was married  unbeknownst to  me til we came to my house and i didnt fall for the bs he was feeding me so i took that as my sign to get ahold of Jake ... and i  recreated a myspace ... and added him with no expectations .. just wanted to talk to him . well a few weeks later he  caught me on IM and was telling me how much he loves me .. and hes still in love with me and wants me to move to Iowa .. Well anyways ... we were talking all the time and then he got shady ...and  i found out he had a gf in Iowa ... i went off thought about telling her ...  but decided i didnt want to deal with Drama .. and a few weeks later he im'd me and told me this girl broke into his house and broke some of his stuff lmao  shes my hero   but anyways so we started talking AGAIN  and then i found out he was dating someone else and in a relationship with her and so this time i didnt play nice ...  i sent her the IM from when we were talking .. and then  now once again .. hes im'ing me telling me he loves me and wants to be with me .. and wants me to move there and that were meant for each other . and its just getting to me .. i dont know what he would gain from hurting me . or feeding me this sappy vomit as i like to call it ... I know i need to cut  ties with him and im not gonna have a computer for awhile to im not gonna be able to talk to him ...   I love him ... i never keep interest in someone this long . I have a short attention span when it comes to men ..  and relationships in general my case manager refers to me as emotionally detached .. i just think i have a no tolerance approach to relationships .Ive told him though  if its in God's plan for us to be together it will happen... but ill pray every night for it to happen .. and that maybe he'll change ...  why is it so hard to  forget someone and move on ...
starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2007

It took me a year to get over my stupid ex. It's just hard process and sometimes lenghty. I also have a short attetion span and don't fall easily. This was the first guy I really had strong feelings for. The day does finally come when you no longer care about them. It just sometimes takes a while, and sometimes it seems like it will never come, but it does.:)

Gee, that's encouraging and discouraging all in one. But I think you are completely right.