Others' Attempts To Shame Us

It's ok to be boring! LOL. According to some people I am, but that's ok with me now. Other people have said I'm really interesting to talk to and a great friend. So who should I listen to?

Whoever I want to...lol.

A few people (ones who don't like me) have said or implied that I need to be a certain way, I need to change. But why does it bug me?

People who don't like someone or feel threatened by their POV are *going* to say and think those things. It comes with the territory. So why should I care? And why should you? Can we make everyone like us? Is that our responsibility---to change to their liking? Or to love ourselves and change to OUR liking?

It finally dawned on me: I don't have to be ASHAMED of who I am, just because *some* don't approve of me. The people who know and love me *like* me, and they like me for who I am. The things they don't like about me they either overlook or accept, just as I do to them. And I do have some really awesome people in my life, it's not like everyone has the same opinions about me.

So why do we listen to the ones with the negative opinions instead of the people who have known us for years and think we're great?

It's all about shame. We're always told we "should" be this and we "should" do that. Says who? Society. Fine. There are some things we should do to be respectful and kind. But we need to weigh other things against our own values before we listen to who we "should" be or do what other people say we "should" do. It's all about control really.

It's fine to give advice, as long as you own it. It's fine to have your own opinion, and it's fine to share it with those close to you. What's not fine is making others feel ashamed or "less than" for being a certain way or doing a certain thing. I am free to be who I want to be and even to be imperfect while I make changes in my life. People will always judge, but why do I care anyway?

If I'm boring, too serious (or too casual or too goofy as some have said...), too sensitive, talk too much or too little, too overweight or whatever the case may be....you know what, who cares? It's always going to bug me that people feel the need to label and shame me and other people, but I do the same thing (I try not to though). So it is what it is. We need to stop caring.

Let people make up their definitions of us. They will regardless of what we do, so let's just be ourselves and let them think what they want!

jennytressler jennytressler
Jan 11, 2013