Drowning Over Again, Oding Beyond Belief

Why am I still alive, how am I still alive?
I've only OD'ed about a hundred times on sleeping meds. I've jumped off trees, tried to lie on the road. I fail at swimming and somehow when I'm just almost at the end of my life, a new energy, a new calm washes over, and then I can breathe...almost. It makes no sense does it? But it's that light you see just before it is all over. The one that cheats you of that final relief. The calm before the storm...the eye of the hurricane. Have you ever known a calm like that? It's like being within yourself in the midst of meditation. Half in your body, and half not. A serene calm like no other.
Lillith29 Lillith29
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 28, 2012

I think I know the feeling though it was from something else. It almost makes you mad when you return.

Sometimes you just wish it could just be done with. I mean the calmness, I don't want to get up from or awaken from.