Lost And Alone

A couple years ago I was depressed. Sounds silly for a teenager to be, but I was. I had experienced a traumatizing rape situation. I was feeling so down that I didn't care about myself. At all. I just wanted to get away. So one night I took my parents car and drove off... and I almost got killed twice. It's scary to think that I could be so careless. I parked in the driveway of a for sales house. I walked into a random college party, under aged. And no one noticed. I watched as people got drunk around me. I started walking through alleyways. I eventually got slightly uneasy when I saw some drunk guys and I got back into the car. It was around 1:00. I decided to go back home but swerved to avoid a drunk driver and went down the wrong road. I had no idea where I was. After a couple hours of getting lost I parked in a car selling place and sobbed for my mom. My cell phone was dead and I had no way of getting home. It was 2:30. I eventually found an old map in the car and took time trying to memorize the map. I never had to drive anywhere but to my house, school, and the store. And here I was, almost out of gas and almost out of the state. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. I hit a skunk. I eventually got home after I recognized some signs and landmarks. I was so happy. At 4:00 I parked the car, put the keys back and ran into my bed. Now whenever I hear this one song in my head it makes my stomach churn. It sounds eerie and creepy, one of the songs it plays on the radio. The next day, my mom wondered why the car smelled like skunk. I felt beyond guilty. I told my mom a year later. She just hugged me an cried and said I'm so glad your okay now. And just held me.
Even now, I still feel guilty like I have to tell people what I did. ...
chantieluvs chantieluvs
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 23, 2013

I found this ask.fm that seems to help people with advice. I just thought I should tell people. www.ask.fm/StepIntoMyOffice