Sometimes I Think It Only Happens to Me!!

Over the last 6yrs, It seems that I have had nothing but bad luck when it comes to relationships, it's been one disaster after another.

My boyfriend of 12yrs left me for a woman who was 10yrs younger than him, since then I have had 5 relationships that have almost broken me to the point that I started cutting my arms.

I just didn't know what to do, I know I shouldn't let it get to me the way it does, but how can you stop your heart from breaking each time the men in your life promise you the earth, then ****** it away just as it's in arms length?

My current ex boyfriend moved in as a lodger, a few days in he confessed that he only moved in to be close to me because he'd liked me for about 2yrs, but never had the courage to tell me, then having a vacant room seemed like the perfect opportunity to get close to me and tell me how I really felt.
Not long after that conversation we became an item.

We got talking one night, and decided that we were both going to get each others name tattooed somewhere, so the next day I went out and got his name tattooed on my arm as a surprise for him.  It wasn't him that got the surprise, it was me.  I came home early one day due to a headache only for him to come home early too to tell me that he's packed his job in and was moving 300 miles away because he just couldn't handle the pressure of it all?

As you can imagine, I was beside myself with grief, how could he do this to me.  I showed him my arm and he faithfully promised that when he'd got his head together, he'd be back.

2 weeks on we were still texting each other and the more text messages I received, the more I truly believed that he was coming home, he would text to let me know how much he loved me and how much he was missing me, how he couldn't wait to come back to me and be in my arms once again.

3 weeks past and it was his birthday, so I text him to say Happy Birthday Darling, Ring Me
To which he replied, Thanks honey, what's up
Nothing I said, just ring me

Its now been 5 days and after sending at least 100 text messages and ringing him at every available point during the day just to see if he'll speak to me, I've had nothing from him, no text messages, no phone calls, no emails, nothing?

I don't know what to do with myself right now, I've had such a disastrous time over the last 6mths ditching my boyfriend of 2yrs because he was slob, then being used by a so called friend over Christmas because he was lonely, then New Year came and went and he ditched me because he didn't want anything serious, now this, I'm a total mess.

As I said, I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does because it hurts so much.

I'm NEVER going to fall in love again!!

Elvira1969 Elvira1969
36-40, F
1 Response Apr 6, 2007

Thanks for those words, I know I'm not alone, but when I come home to an empty house every night it's hard to imagine that anyone is going thru as much pain as I am.<br />
Sounds selfish I know, but you don't realise that others are probably going thru the same crap that you are and feeling exactly like you, I guess that is why I joined here in the first place, thanks for reading my story, but it won't stop me from cutting my arms, it's the only way that I know how to cope with the pain right now.<br />
They say time heals all wounds, and I guess it does to a certain extent, but 6yrs on and I still can't get over my ex leaving me for "HER" how long is it going to take for me to get over my new heartbreak???