The moment someone starts to hurt me or hurts me really bad I start to push them away. I can’t help it,when someone I care about hurts me, I shut down, close up and when needed do not talk to the person (s) until I am ready too. In many ways this allows me the opportunity to work through it in my own way.  
It's been the same, with relationships and  friendships. Though I usually forgive people, it's when they first initially hurt me that I push. Sometimes the relationship/friendship can be reconciled, sometimes it cannot be but it is never as close as it was.

Once I've been burned, it's almost impossible for it to go back to the way it was….
snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002
46-50, F
20 Responses Aug 3, 2010

What you say has a great deal of truth to it, snowbunny1002. I don't generally shut down, however when I get hurt. I have a tendency to tell the person right out what I think of her or him, and sometimes in some pretty egregious ways. Sometimes it backfires, but sometimes it doesn't. <br />
<br />
Then I avoid them like the plague.

Techmed2001- I totally understand what you are saying, Unfortunately sometimes the people that forgive the most are the ones that get treated the worst. Hugs :)

I total get it. I give so many chances to someone you love very much but always told that your the problem. Time to shut down and shut them out. Why am I always the one to forgive instead of walking away. When is enough, enough????

Chiquita- It's a tough place to be at times but its about self preservation at times too. I am not perfect, I am just me BUT I'm glad I have such a great friend as you to keep me company :) XOXOX

Sadly, I can relate, my little Snow angel.<br />
<br />
Well said. &hearts;

theearthissobbing- GREAT points. Thanks so much for your comments :)

I know exactly how you feel zall1rog. I too, am becoming less trustful of others because of what has happened to me. I know it isn't fair and I try to do my best to give all the benefit of the doubt but it is becoming harder to do that. Even when you think you know someone do you really ??

LongLost- I think we have all experienced that or at least I know I have. I think you want to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes it doesn't work out the way you hope it will. I am sorry you have had to deal with this, it is never easy. :)

I can relate to this.<br />
I constantly tell myself... THIS time I am not going to let them back in...<br />
but I do...<br />
<br />
It is never the same, and each time I lock a little more of myself away almost hoping that eventually there will be nothing left for the other person to touch.<br />
<br />
The real question is why do I always end up with people that do this to me?

F-YAY!!! you are back!! Thanks for showing up on my doorstep where my welcome mat is always open to you :) <br />
<br />

Me too bun buns! me too!

angeloflove44- very true. All we can do is always try to be the best person we can be. Forgiveness comes from within but you definitely need to set some limitations/boundaries. Thanks for your comments :)

I have always been one 2 easily forgive but have been used like a doormat many times becuz of it, what i still need 2 practice is boundaries, its hard when you never had them, but all a person can do is recognize the things they need 2 improve and keep trying 2 be better at it the next time around. I do kinda feel if a person calls you names the chances of doing it again are extremely high. Sad but true.

Browneyes87- true or for me sometimes not deal with them at all ..

I am the same way you just learn ppl then you understand how to deal with them as a person and that's from a distance

TEP- great to see you out here :). I am the same way, I believe in second chances as well ..to a point, when the I'm sorrys dont work you gotta move on .

Thanks Smugit ! XOXOX

hehehehe you never alone bunny!

Hunnychavez81- thanks for your kind words...its always better to forgive...forgetting, well that's another story indeed :) <br />
<br />
ABL- Thanks for your support... I'm glad I am not alone :)

I totally get you! that's soooo true! We can forgive, but its so hard to forget!