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My Sensor

I have developed my own sensor to situations or people that can hurt me. It has just developed from being constantly hurt and disappointed by my husband.
So now, if I sense something painful is coming I automatically put up protectors and back away. It's a natural reaction now and I have no control over it. I fight with myself as to what to do sometimes. Should I trust that sensor or is it too sensitive? A dilemma for sure.
soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

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I have done this sooo many times in my past.. I would get into a relationship and always break it off before I had any real feelings for a person. That all changed when I met my husband.. In the beginning everything was perfect. He inspired me, made me want to be a better person, and helped open my eyes to the world and people around me. And it felt good to finally do that after being "alone" for so long. But things have changed between us. And I can feel myself start to build those same walls around myself again. Even though I absolutely hate talking about my feelings I've opened up and told him how I am feeling, that I am once again going back to how I used to be with keeping everyone at a distance. He says he cares, but does very little to show it. There is no intimacy in my life. Only loneliness. Sorry, I'm new here and it's nice to have a platform to talk to others about this same issue. My experience and advice is to let it be.. The person who really cares will be the one able to knock it down.. You'll have to take a chance, but deep down in your heart you will know when the time is right.

You shy away because of your past wounds. Do be careful as this is very limiting. Do you want to change this behaviour? It is difficult, but well worth it. Consider that. On a sidenote, how is the loneranger? He blocked me and I worry about him at times...Do you know? Thank you. Many people are in the same boat as you are. And live their entire lives this way....And that is sad.

He left a while ago...without goodbye??

I was afraid of that. That is sad. His stories were lovely. He was a gentleman. A shame then....Do consider changing your behaviour. You are gun shy.