Run, Burn, Rinse, Repeat.

It’s been a while. My minds been shifting into overdrive day in day out, refuses to collapse under any given circumstance. It drains me, emotionally and mentally. Yet shows no falter in my physicality, my smiles. I wonder if it’s simply a coincidence, the fact i can portray an image of complete stability, happiness. When really everything seems so chaotic, acrimonious. Half the time i don’t know if I’m here, or if I’m there. Or maybe it’s simply synchronicity, how things aren’t as they appear. Nothing about me is. I like it, being alone. For some people that may be hard to believe but i find it’s easier than relying on people, needing people. If there’s no one there to begin with, then there’s no one there to loose. I don’t like to loose. I’m not saying i haven’t had people i cared for, i have. But it’s easier isn’t it? easier to burn everything and walk in the opposite direction. That’s how i feel comfortable operating things, it always has been and it’s not an aspect of myself i plan to change, not anytime soon. Run, Burn, Rinse, Repeat. Don’t let anyone in, close enough to hurt you , burn them if you see it coming, Sure it leaves marks, Of course it does. Sometimes it’s hard, judging if you should let the fire take it’s tole, burn to ashes, it’s easier. Or you could put it out pick up the pieces of the collateral damage mend them, then make them into something pretty. That’s when it gets complicated. I tried it once. I let them splash around, live like they wanted but see when it comes to love. It’s never that simple, when you let someone splash around near you, your bound to get wet. In my case, i drowned. It ****** with my head, i didn’t know what to do with the feeling of needing someone. So i stopped. I fought my way back to the surface, took a deep breath and turned the other way. I ran. Run, Burn, Rinse, Repeat. Simple
lovelessandless lovelessandless
1 Response Jul 26, 2010

A little love is better than none.