Panicking

When I have a panic attack, and I'm terrified that someone, like my ex-step-father, is going to rape me, the only way to calm down is to sing to myself.

Sometimes I'll sing something simple like: "It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, be okay, be okay..." Of sometimes something more elaborate:

"You do not control me,

You do not own me,

You are not a father,

You mean nothing to me.

I am afraid,

But I am brave!

I will go on,

For I am strong.

Shut up, shut up, shut up,

You don't know.

I don't care if I'm alone in this,

At least I'm still standing.

Now calm down, calm down, calm down...

If he comes, I'll break his neck, beat him down, make him pay!

You are safe, I am safe, we are safe now.

Calm down, calm down, calm down..."

 

And it helps calm me down. I only do it when I'm alone, but I do do it almost every time I have a panic attack now. Sometimes during a flashback too. It really makes it all okay...

lolitanomore lolitanomore
13-15, F
1 Response Feb 19, 2010

Song is better than pills, I keep my voice at hand too to deal with anxiety attacks. You are terrific! I was going to ask you how you arrived at such a wonderful name, but you've explained.<br />
Keep your heart brave! You are worth it! My friend always tells me to keep my head up, chin level to the ground and to be proud that I carry such a wonderful spirit. You too have such a wonderful spirit. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in such a litte space (good poet!!!)<br />
Thanks