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I Sit And Cry

Sometimes when i'm alone I sit for hours and just cry...I think about the years I have wasted and will never have back about the love I could have had and the loves I have lost..
Life can be cruel no matter how hard you try..
I see couples walking hand in hand with so much love for each other and wonder just where I went wrong..I long for that special someone to want me and love me for who I am....
I have so much in my heart to offer and it breaks to easy..So I sit and cry...
One day I pray....
vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 98 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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One day I believe we all, especially the ones who lament loves lost and our own actions in that, that we will find what has been lost to us.. in the mean time enjoy your life as much as you can.

I cry for much the same reasons. I am a grown man and I'm not supposed to cry or at least not admit it but I do.
I have felt the pain of regret but I long for the joy of acceptance and the tender compassion of love....

I found if you never give up you will find it...Hugs

Sometimes I wonder if I deserve it or if it would be fair to accept it....
I am damaged and have so little to offer.

I felt the same way for years, but then I decided if I didn't think better of myself no one would so my way of thinking changed..All I have been through has made me a stronger person today and I know all of those who judge me would never be able to walk in my shoes..You are the person you tell yourself you are...

Seems you have a good perspective on that vp.

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When we are young and have our lives ahead of us ,often we make the wrong choices of partner and when in a toxic relationship we do not know how to get out of it for different reasons,so we waste precious years with the wrong person and time passes,or we do not recognise the true goodness that come from the heart and concentrate instead on good looks or we become the victim of a manipulator,again because of our lack of knowledge, experience and often low self esteem,when we eventually learn to make the right choices which comes with life and experience and valuing ourselves more, years have passed and there are no longer so many choices available or we have become far too cautious In some case.Life appear to be like this and sadly often it works in reverse!

I think everyone else has already said what I'm about to. :3 But it makes stories you can tell, and if you tell people like me... you'll make a huge difference in our lives. :) I learn from other peoples stories.

Coulda, woulda. And shoulda are things best left behind!

Who at our age don't have regrets, other than those with alzheimers and those that lie? We could be hateful & bitter, all that does for me is make me not want to be around me. I once believed I wasted 20 years of my life with the thing I married. Let me share with you a little about me. I, regardless of what congress may say, do have a brain cell. It may have an idiosyncracy, sorry the truth is it has issues, & by issues I mean many handicaps. Anyway there was a time when it was having a good day and actually communicated with me. What it told me changed my life. It's so simple I don't know why I didn't think of it. When it told me it's not to late to change those 20 years. I can change the past? No way brain cell you really are retarded. So this is what it said next. As long as you think it's a waste, it is a waste. But if you rethink about the past you will find that you learned a lot about yourself, people & love. You learned how to be a grown up, you learned what you want and what you don't want. You experienced love & you made sonera happy memories you will never forget. I spent those 20 years learning. I can never have those 20 years back because of something Einstein did, and if I tell my mind they were wasted, then they are wasted. On the other hand if I don't allow them to be wasted, then I have nothing to cry about because, say it with me, they wasn't wasted. It really is that simple. I don't understand why we want to complicate all that we meet, Thats our bad luck. As for finding a soul mate, it could happen, probably won't, not for me anyway. But how you going to attract anything you would want if all you do is cry about your mistakes? So in closing I would like to share this line with you from my brain cell sorry, I had to censor that. Hope you get over getting over and can take ownership of yourself. Luck to you.

I have come to understand a lot over the past year and have found a new life since then..I am now a very happy woman and the rears are now gone..Thank you for your words they mean a great deal. :)

Should be tears not rears..lol

Thank you! I could not agree more,nothing is a waste if you learn from it an grow because of it.

princess i cry with you
hugs

Hoping things improve for you sweetie

Your the kind of smart beautiful woman who can have any man she wants!
Dry your tears and be open to love finding you!

You never know what is round the corner. Look at the good within yourself, others will see that to. Let it shine. You cannot change your past but you can influence your future. Best wishes.

I'm sure you will find the person for you xx

I too made the wrong choices,but sadly we cannot go back, at least we can make better choices now.Some of us because of low self esteem always seem to be attracted to abusive ,emotionally unavailable men, in that case would it not be better to be brave and not enter any more relationships that will most probably deliver much of the same,live your life for yourself,be a free woman,no longer getting caught up in impoverishing relationships.I live alone but I am happy,I would not have what I have now, comfortable living and a roof over my head, if I had continued getting involved with the kind of men that took away so much and gave so little.And really, does a woman really NEED a man to prove her worth?

You are not alone. I can relate to many of your stories here....bc

at least you have children. Many single woman your age will never have that.

I second that opinion,never having had any myself and not through choice.

I have had the same thoughts. But at my age it is best just to keep my nose to the front and keep moving forward. If I stopped and started to review my life with all the loss of family members high school friends a couple marriages jobs and my own ego I would spin crash and burn. So it is best to make the best of every day as each is a gift and we will not have one exactly like it again.. We may have a chance to find a new friend too.

A very positive way to look at it,thank you!

Yup, a great positive outlook to have.

Your idea sounds good and positive ..... my days are a relives curse.

A lot of us took a wrong turn but we were young and did not know any better,we did not know then that life is not a rehearsal.There is still time for you to meet a loving man.

My Grandpa met a woman after my mom's mom died over twenty years before. They got married when he and she were almost 70. He had lived by himself and some folks from the church he went to found he needed a house cleaner or house keeper. A woman volunteered and went and cleaned and organized things. They fell in love and married... they both idolized each other and acted like twenty year olds. I never saw either of them without a smile on their faces..

I guess it is never too late for some of us,I am glad your Grandpa found happiness at such a late hour in his life!

@OkCountryBoy : Wow, thats real cool stuff to know.

I have times like this too....then I open my heart and tell myself press on. Don't look back...things will get better..press on! Its not over.....reach out...be strong...press on.

The sun will shine on you again.

I'm tired.!

don't give up on love i really do believe its never too late!! u r right the world can b so cruel & so evil & it does make u wanna cry i've really learned that this year myself but through all my hard times i try to hold on to the thought of god's love n my head...i kno it sounds cheesy but it has helped me through some bad times this year.sometimes i think god tests you to see if you will stand my your own morals/principles that you say you believe in &(or) to give you a perspective that mayb you hadn't considered before.like that guy n the bible who had everything & god took it from him to test his faith.& if you can stick to your morals when they are tested then it makes you a better person in the end.good luck to you & please don't give up...it really is only too late when you're dead! :)

Talk to God..he will listen and help you..that is his promise.

I understand this as sometimes I feel my life is on pause. I too am envious of those couples walking hand in hand, but I know that my day will come when I have all of this again. It will happen for you too.... *hugs*

It's never too late, you know! Look forward never backward. Except to learn from mistakes. Dwelling in the past will consume you! Looking to the 'morrow will revive you!

Past is known....future is more unsuccessful past coming. Its a vicious circle.

in the near future people will be able to date & marry androids custom made to their specifications.I CANT WAIT.it's a better alternative to all the crappy males they have out there.most females just marry one of those losers TO LIVE OFF OF HIS MONEY.then they dont want to have sex with them because WHO DOES?

I'm recently seperated from my wife of 23 years and I go through the same exact stuff as you. I isolate myself so I don't have to see the happy couples you speak of. I don't cry as often as I used to, but it still hurts. I've attempted suicide twice, because I don't want to be alone and I just want to stop the pain. You've got to start living again. We both deserve happiness and love just as much as those who left us behind. Don't give up. Fight for love.

I have a 9 mm....... if it wasn't for being afraid of screwing it up I'd use it. Probally then the answer to my problem would be hours away

Stop talking that way..Love is out there and you will find it

Been there done that..now it is time to move on. I have always been happy and intend to stay that way. The past is the past. There is not much time time left, but I intend to use it wisely.
Time it was
And what a time it was
It was
A time of innocent
A time of confidences.
Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
It's all that's left you.

Can I cry with you?

I don't ever want you to cry...Be happy okay

I want to, I really do, be happy I mean. You be happy as well

That day is getting closer and lets hope you find happiness

*Hugs* I wish for you bright blessings and a new surprising love that is real and precious.

I was stunned as I read your story as that is exactly like I have felt for years. Men feel things as strongly as women do, but we are not free to express those emotions like women can. I think that is one reason men don't have as long a life expectancy as women. I also have allot of love to give and no one to give it to. I don't understand why God would give me all these emotions and no special one to give them to. I have helped allot of people both children and adults and just never was able to connect with the one special person, except a long time ago and I was too immature to realize that this beautiful, special girl who loved me would be the one I let get away. She was 11 and I was 12 when we met in church and both she and I and our families became very close. Not asking her to marry me was the biggest mistake I ever made. I can truly say I understand your pain. There are some cruel responses here, but don't let them get you down. Some people need to understand that everyone of us is unique and that not all people are able to handle things the same way. You sound like a keeper. Don't give up my friend. God Bless, John, Fresno, CA.

I'm sorry. I remember feeling this way, but haven't for a long time. Now, I just enjoy being my own person and having my own space. I don't know what changed.....maybe menopause.

I find I don't cry about being lonely anymore. I have not tried to date anyone for a few years and I am ok with it. In fact , I have kind of liked being alone. I have many projects and things to keep me busy. Sometimes on a weekend night if I have nothing to do, I start thinking about the past and my mistakes etc, but I think this does no good at all, I cannot change the past. I see couples at the store and I think yes would be nice to be with someone who appreciates and loves me for me with all my great attributes and my flaws too. It is hard to find genuine people especially genuine men in southern california. I have dated dozens, so I just give up for now because most if them are shallow, self centered pigs who at 60 think they deserve a 30 yr old. So I am happy to be alone with no one telling me how to look, think or act. If love finds me again so be it, if it doesn't , then fine . By the way with meet up.com, there is no excuse to be lonely. There is a group for every little and big aspect of anyone's life . If you don't find a group you can start one!