its official. im rebroke.

i dont get it, its not that they "hid" it from me, its that they didnt come to me and share with me personally. they know thats what ive asked of them, to just share with me. no one pms me to tell me whats going on in their lives. they dont give a rats *** about me, i dont know how many times i asked for them to just take their time and pm and share with me, but they didnt. they forget about the least important person any anyones eyes, me. theres no convincing me other wize. they didnt love me..... :( they didnt care, they just avoided any fault of their own and blamed me for my emotions. im going to be on anti depressants real soon, and when i do, im possitive i will still feel the same way about this whole situation, but i will be able to not cry about it when im on the anti depressants.


last night i couldnt get to sleep, i was crying too hard. i think ive gone over the edge.... the only way i could calm myself down enough for sleep was to close my eyes and picture that there where two of me. the second Me was sitting up next to me while i was laying down on my belly. i pictured Second Me stroking my face, and hair, i pictured Second Me telling me it was going to be ok, cuz she loves me, and would hold me all night if she could. that they may not of loved you, but she loves me. i pictured them comforting me like a mother. i wanted so bad to be held in my own arms. i had to picture myself as another person comforting me.... just so i could slow the tears and sleep.
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Jul 25, 2010